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Post by Felicity Hjort on Oct 26, 2007 14:45:43 GMT -5
February 29, 2008
Days turned into weeks. Weeks past the events of mid-January. Things had changed, some for the better, some for the worst, and some still were undefinable. Since then, since what happened, there were so many things left unanswered, so many voices that followed her around like whispers that wouldn't die out, so many haunts in her dreams of the things that took place. And only one person remained the same throughout, a person who didn't change through any of the shadows that lingered. Her change had come, it hadn't left, but it was there; it was what impression was left by everything that happened.
It'd been weeks, and while most students had begun to let it die out, there were still a few who wouldn't let go. Those who dared to speak loud enough for her ears to receive the vibrations were nothing less than shouted at by the blonde, those who dared to watch like vultures were given a show of a broken heart.
While she had found moments she valued more than anything for the happiness and joy they brought, there was still something that felt missing. The loss of someone, the feeling that couldn't be replaced by anyone, no matter who they were or how happy they could make the Gryffindor.
Celina. The Ravenclaw was in all of her classes, she saw her in corridors, saw her in the Great Hall now and again, but not often. In fact, Felicity's preference of keeping to the Gryffindor Tower during free time had limited her chances of seeing anyone, except Gryffindors, and even then, she didn't see too many of them.
However, the paper had to be put out. There had been a few issues missed, none for January as they hadn't been there at school and for obvious reasons, none for February. However, Felicity was determined to get the March edition out, determined to collect information, photographs, and articles for fellow students to read. Anything was being accepted by this point.
At her own desk, writing out an article she'd taken particular interests in, she sat bent over the paper. Her hair was pulled back, she was dressed in her most comfortable clothes, consisting of sweatpants and a sweatshirt. The lioness had her feet pulled up onto the chair and she read over and over what she'd written.
It was nearing on dinner time, and yet again she was planning on skipping. There was a little bit of food in a bag she'd brought with her, though she doubted she'd do more than nibble. All she wanted was a bit of time in the office, the only other place she felt comfortable, besides the Gryffindor Tower.
((Closed))
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Celina Jedynak
Ravenclaw
Seventh year
Because it just took time, before a bird's wings could heal again.
Posts: 6
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Post by Celina Jedynak on Nov 11, 2007 23:37:52 GMT -5
Dinner was the time that Celina knew the office would be empty. No one there to bother her, or watch her as she dared continue to write her own share of articles and place them on Felicity’s desk without being seen or noticed or even spoken to. No one to stop her, sneer or otherwise pick fights. No one.
Celina’s hair swished back and forth slightly as she walked, it being tied back with the turquoise ribbon that she had decided against giving back to her brother. She needed it with her, needed it at all times. It was her only comfort in the world, other than Mike who had been a comfort beyond ever imaginable; even with as little as she had even made time for herself to see him.
If it wasn’t for him, she would have been worse off. He was the only one who understood her, and made her think that no matter what she could have done, she had done something others wouldn’t have thought of doing; she’d saved both her and Felicity by telling the truth. Sure, Felicity had gone through an ordeal, but in this where was Celina? Was she truly the one who really should have been holding the wand against her friend as many thought? Or was she too a victim? Celina didn’t think about it any longer. There was too much to be done in preparation for the OWLs, not to mention, to achieve any goals that she had in her mind to accomplish. There had even been professors that she now connected to more than ever. Celina was grateful, but now more determined than ever to reach her goals of becoming something more.
Drifting into the office, stealthily as if not to get caught by any peering eyes, Celina saw no one. No one until she reached to where Felicity’s desk was. It was there that she saw her and stopped right in her tracks. What did she do? Just place the articles on the desk and leave, not saying a word? That could work. But as she tried to move in order to do so, her legs shook and the screams that had finally vanquished from her mind returned yet again. She didn’t want to see Felicity, or hear her voice tremble. Nothing in the world would Celina want more than to just give her friend the decency of her not being around her. So, in her pink tank top, and jeans she turned, her sneakers squeaking as she tried to make her retreat. Celina decided that she’d drop off the articles later. It wasn’t as if they were any good any how.
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Post by Felicity Hjort on Nov 12, 2007 17:35:56 GMT -5
The article was interesting, enthralling even, about the happeninngs of January. It was from one person's perspective, there were others, but this one was the one that held the rapture of her attention. Light brown eyes read over each word carefully, gave meaning to every letter written. It was only one perspective, and yet it held so much detail, so much information it made the Gryffindor wonder who had written it. It was an anonymously submitted article, but the person who wrote it must have put so much observation behind the entire ordeal for it to be written in the way it had been.
Three times...four times...five times...Felicity couldn't help but read it over and over. There were some things she knew, but she didn't know the entirety of it, she hardly knew a quarter of it. How this person was able to gain so much to put into something like this, she couldn't help but wonder who the writer was. Hidden behind the words and papers, just who could've written it?
So deeply involved in the paper, she didn't hear the entrance of another, nor did she see the person. It wasn't until a sharp noise cut through the air that she glanced up from the article, and had to take a second look at the almost retreating figure.
"Celina?" she called out before she could remember they weren't talking...or were they? No, she was pretty sure they weren't. They hadn't spoken in classes, and they seemed to be doing really well avoiding each others company in corridors, so that meant they weren't talking, right?
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Celina Jedynak
Ravenclaw
Seventh year
Because it just took time, before a bird's wings could heal again.
Posts: 6
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Post by Celina Jedynak on Nov 12, 2007 20:25:24 GMT -5
Found.
Caught by the one person Celina had decided it'd be better to stay away from.
It was bad. The last few weeks. Celina had gotten used to having friends. She had gotten used to having Drew for a brother at school, and Felicity for a sister. A family who were amazing and away from her own, yet now were just like them. Hurtful, but only because she had disobeyed the rules and made them so. It was Celina's fault. She knew it, and therefore she used her tactic that worked all the time; she used avoidance of the both of them. She didn't need their friendship, or so she told herself over and over again.
As her name was spoke out, Celina stopped and her face instantly dropped as if just by being caught she had done something horrible. Again, she was caught....found out....by the person she least wanted herself to be around. Celina knew how hurtful of a person she must have been, and how just looking at her must of made people think. She knew what people were thinking.
"I....I....I....have my articles....." Celina whispered without turning around. No eye contact.....not even with Felicity.
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Post by Felicity Hjort on Nov 14, 2007 23:32:48 GMT -5
Felicity well remembered the comment Celina had written to her in letter over break, that she was like her sister. And if that was true, didn't that mean that no matter what happened, they were still friends? Felicity wasn't sure. They hadn't been speaking, so did what happen break that bond between them? It could've, that might have been why Celina wasn't talking to her. Then again, she hadn't really tried talking to Celina either. Maybe it was miscommunication on both parts? Maybe Felicity imagined what had happened. Maybe Celina blamed Felicity for everything just like Felicity blamed herself and therefore couldn't find it in herself to speak to someone like herself. Maybe she wouldn't hear her.
No, she heard. Felicity watched every movement, wondering if Celina didn't like her anymore. Felicity thought she still liked Celina, but she wasn't sure because they hadn't spoken, but she didn't hate her. Felicity couldn't hate her, no matter what, Celina was her best friend, and really more than that, just like what she wrote in that letter.
A small smile formed on her lips when she heard Celina, she hadn't heard that voice in a long time and it was nice to hear it again. But it was so shaky, and Felicity didn't like that.
"Celina?" she tried again, hoping the girl would turn around and maybe, just maybe talk to her again.
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Celina Jedynak
Ravenclaw
Seventh year
Because it just took time, before a bird's wings could heal again.
Posts: 6
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Post by Celina Jedynak on Nov 15, 2007 0:01:14 GMT -5
Again Felicity spoke to her and Celina wasn't sure in what to do. Did she just throw the articles on Felicity's desk and then leave? Saying nothing but just turning and letting Felicity have her space, away from her? What did she do? Celina thought about the scene over again in her head. She heard Felicity's screaming....begging......or had that been her? Their voices blending in her head and she was unsure of everything from the scene that had just happened about a month before. All Celina remembered was that if she didn't.....Shaw would kill Alfonz. His lips so close to her ear, she could feel his breath running down her neck....giving her harsh chills and nightmares for weeks to come.
Ceilna slowly turned around, and walked up to the desk that Felicity sat at. Her eyes down the whole time, not looking at the Gryffindor. "Here....my articles. I finished them finally...." she trailed off letting the articles fall on the desk, not even letting her hand linger in the least bit as she put it behind her and began to back away. "Sorry for bothering you...."
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Post by Felicity Hjort on Nov 17, 2007 1:39:49 GMT -5
In the weeks that had followed the events of January, Felicity felt she had become a watcher, an observer. Her light brown eyes studied her friend as she continued to pause, before that last, slow, entrancing turn. The walk was her friend's, no, was she even a friend? The walk was Celina's, Celina's when she was distracted, unsure, uncomfortable. Had Felicity made her that way? Did she too blame Felicity for what happened? The Gryffindor couldn't blame her, she even felt at fault for it all. But, even then, she couldn't bring herself to understand why Celina did what she had, but she had to have had a good reason, a very good one.
When the dark-eyed girl was close enough, Felicity would've been able to see the whites of her eyes, if she were looking at her. She didn't say a word. What was she supposed to say? The blonde wanted to know everything, she wanted to know how Celina had coped in the last few weeks, she wanted to know if they were still friends. Was it possible to be? Could they be? Or did Celina hate her?
Her brown eyes traveled to the papers laid before her, watched as the Ravenclaw back up, swiftly. No hesitation, none whatsoever.
"Celina?" she started, amazed she'd been able to find her own voice. Though it was strong, she was speaking barely at a whispering level. "Please don't leave."
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Celina Jedynak
Ravenclaw
Seventh year
Because it just took time, before a bird's wings could heal again.
Posts: 6
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Post by Celina Jedynak on Nov 17, 2007 19:24:20 GMT -5
Celina stopped, her eyes lifting a bit to look at Felicity whom she hadn't had the nerve to turn away from. She didn't want to lose sight of the girl; her friend and practically sister. They had gotten so close in such a short time that Celina almost wondered if their relationship was really as fragile as she had made it out to be from the horrid scene, but she wouldn't ask. Felicity called out to her and that's why she had stopped, but now what was there to say to her friend? Did she hurry and apologize for everything? Did she squirm and wallow in what interrogation she was sure would follow? She had work she could be getting to in the library. Why was it now of all times for Felicity to stop her?
"I have a bit of work to do," Celina stated, barely audible. What was there else to say? She had betrayed Felicity and in doing so had lost Drew and her. Celina couldn't have any friends that didn't see her as anything but a weakling traitor who needed to be stronger.....Celina couldn't bare with people thinking that.....or rather saying it when she had passed them, so that she could hear it. They didn't know. They didn't know what Celina would have had to give up if she didn't give up Felicity....and as terrible as that sounded, it was the truth. It was either to keep both Felicity and Alfonz alive, or kill Alfonz to spare Felicity pain that she probably would have felt if she hadn't said anything any ways. Shaw was a mad man.....what else was there she could have done?
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Post by Felicity Hjort on Nov 24, 2007 0:06:40 GMT -5
Watching the girl, she weighed all options in her mind. Felicity could just let Celina go, without another word. Felicity could talk to her, ask her what happened. Silence was always an option, just let the Ravenclaw without anything to stop her. Or she could talk to her, just like old times. Talking to Celina was always nice, they always had fun chatting with one another, had so many things to laugh about, so many crazy ideas that at the time it always sounded good to Felicity, even if they never seemed to end well. The spell, the forest, both were prime examples, but they made it through those times, hadn't they? There had to be a way to make it through what happened most recently.
"Celina..." she started, not daring to take her eyes off of her friend (were they still?). What did she want to say? So many things came to mind, accusations, suggestions, pleas. What stood out most though, were questions. Felicity was chalk full of them, so many of them. "Why don't we talk any more?"
Had Felicity really upset her so much that she was no longer speaking to her? Had she been that horrible of a friend, forcing her to try to escape in January, forcing her to give her up, forcing her to take the heat for everything that happened. That was what bothered Felicity the most, the fact they no longer spoke. Not even harsh words, there was just...nothing.
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Celina Jedynak
Ravenclaw
Seventh year
Because it just took time, before a bird's wings could heal again.
Posts: 6
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Post by Celina Jedynak on Nov 24, 2007 18:43:35 GMT -5
Celina cocked her head as if trying to see the speck of light that may have been at the end of the tunnel she was traveling in. The dark cloud around her mind only did it's best to filter Felicity's question and in the end, all Celina had heard was what exactly Felicity had said. Why hadn't they talked with one another? Wasn't that because Felicity didn't want to? Not that Celina had ever asked, nor wanted to herself. She had decided to drop those she cared about in order to protect them and herself. Sure job that was doing.
Drew thought little of her from what Celina had gathered during the only time that she had allowed him near enough to speak with her, first scolding Jax for her harsh words and then turning and doing the same as the young girl had....yes, Celina remembered clearly and had decided not only from that incident but from so many little ones around the castle that it wasn't safe for either of them to speak. But was this really her doing? Celina had stayed away...Felicity hadn't actually wanted to speak with her...did she? "D...did....you want to talk?" Celina asked sheepishly as if she had been completely taken aback by the question. Maybe this really was all Celina's fault.
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Post by Felicity Hjort on Nov 26, 2007 19:37:56 GMT -5
Silence. Felicity'd been getting that a lot lately when she said something, people responded with silence. It was a little odd as she was used to getting something back, but why all of a sudden were people being silent? It wasn't right. They had voices to use them, not to look at her and say absolutely nothing at all. Of course, they always said something, but it was delayed. Why? Was she that far off the line with her own words? She hadn't thought so.
And then she had to remember the situation. It was Celina. Her best friend and the girl that said something many thought was horrible. It wasn't though, was it? No, it wasn't the nicest thing said, but it was something Felicity was almost glad that was said. If it had been Celina on that other end, what would Felicity had done? Would she have been able to do anything? Probably not. Celina was protecting herself, wasn't she? And Felicity was glad she had the sense to preserve herself from the terrible event. While she wasn't happy with what took place, she couldn't blame her friend either.
No longer silence, but more of Celina's sweet vocals reached her ears.
Was that a confirmation that she was willing to stick around and speak with her? The the crazy Ravengirl wasn't mad enough at her to stay and chit chat with her for a little bit?
Nodding her head, she smiled lightly. Of course she wanted to speak with her, she was her best friend after all. Wasn't she?
“Yes, I do. I mean, we haven't talked in a really long time, and I kind of miss it.” Biting her lip, she paused a moment. “If you want to, that is.”
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Celina Jedynak
Ravenclaw
Seventh year
Because it just took time, before a bird's wings could heal again.
Posts: 6
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Post by Celina Jedynak on Nov 27, 2007 11:18:09 GMT -5
It was almost a sudden release of unknowing emotion with the Raven girl. Did she want to talk to Felicity? Of course she did, but was it safe to do so? “Yes…but…after…..after everything?” Celina stated in a questioned sort of way. There was so much she wanted to tell and speak with Felicity about, so much she wished that she had had her friend to tell so many times before. Between Alfonz being at the school, Raynor’s meeting with her to tell her of such, and just everything else that had happened for Celina, she had wanted to talk to Felicity and tell her so many things….but she couldn’t. Not after what she had done to her friend…how could she?
She felt a burning sensation in her eyes as she tried not to break down in front of her friend. Celina didn’t want to Felicity to think that she was about to cry because she didn’t want to talk to her, rather it was because of the overwhelming relief of Felicity wanting to talk to her that was getting to her. It was like a dam of emotion had sprung a leak with what longing Felicity showed to Celina that she wanted to talk out what had…happened….
But on top of all of that, what would everyone think? What would the school feel if the two of the girls became friends again…after what Celina had done? Would they see it as a friendship overcoming all obstacles, or would they see it as Celina’s manipulation over the foolish Gryffindor? How did Celina see it? Surely she hadn’t manipulated Felicity into wanting to talk to her, but how would everyone else see it? Especially, since they only saw her just give her up to Shaw…surely they may think her capable of manipulating her into being her friend because she had but one she ever was maybe seen with.
And then Celina thought of Mike. Another thing that she had wanted to tell Felicity, but couldn’t. But not only did the Raven girl think of that, but she thought of his overwhelming confidence that Felicity would be alright and so would she. He had believed in her from the very first time he sought her out to speak with her, and the only one who believed in Alfonz’s innocence and true cause. The one that he had given the both of them that night he had shown his true identity to both Celina and Mike. He had known that Felicity would pull through…and so Celina wondered if this was truly the time of the conquest of fear that trapped the both of them.
A tear trickled down Celina’s face as she couldn’t hold back the emotions that flooded through. “I…I…I’m so….sor…sorry….” Celina whispered through silent sobs. She covered her mouth with a hand and placed the other on her hip as she looked away from her friend. Celina had wanted to talk for so long, yet she had planned it out to be so much different than her crying her eyes out in apology.
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Post by Felicity Hjort on Dec 1, 2007 21:13:38 GMT -5
After everything? Was there really that much that seemed to be in need of going after? They hadn't even had a fight. Felicity still didn't know why Celina said what she did, but she was sure it was because of something terrible, otherwise her friend wouldn't have given her up, would she have? No, the Gryffindor didn't think so. But why did Celina think there was an after everything? They were friends and friends worked through things, right? Even when they weren't sure what was going on. And the worst part was neither had been speaking to the other, not that Felicity had really tried to. But getting down to the bottom of the problem was hard when they weren't speaking, for whatever reason it was.
A confused look crossed the lioness' face as she continued to watch her friend, waiting for a possible explanation of what she meant or why she thought there was an everything. Tilting her head slightly, she raised an eyebrow, not sure whether to answer or not when she was unsure of what she was talking about. Celina had spoken about their plans to Shaw, told him what Felicity and she had planned on, escaping. Then Shaw had turned on Felicity. There wasn't really an everything. Felicity remembered the man getting really close to Celina and then Celina cracking on her, but maybe he'd cast a spell and Felicity hadn't seen it? It was possible, she wasn't at the best of angles to see what was going on at the time.
And then the tears. Immediately Felicity dropped what she was reading to the floor, didn't bother moving around her desk, but instead climbed right over to reach the slightly crazy Ravenclaw. She had nothing to be sorry for, Felicity knew she wouldn't have given her up without reason, and she was now pretty sure he'd cast a spell on her friend to make her tell on them. Celina turned just before Felicity got close enough to her, but it didn't stop the full force of the Gryffindor from reaching her arms around her.
“Oh, don't be sad Celina,” she said, thinking the girl was crying because of sadness. “You don't have to be sorry for anything. I am though, very sorry. I shouldn't have made you have to tell him.” In Felicity's opinion, it was really all her fault. If she hadn't made her friend go along with her Celina wouldn't have been forced to tell Shaw anything.
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Celina Jedynak
Ravenclaw
Seventh year
Because it just took time, before a bird's wings could heal again.
Posts: 6
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Post by Celina Jedynak on Dec 1, 2007 21:23:54 GMT -5
Celina couldn’t hold back her sobs that finally were being allowed to be free. She had held them in for so long since everyone had only seen them as a cry for attention that she finally couldn’t believe that someone, especially Felicity, was willing to listen. It had been Celina’s fault she had thought, but her friend now apologized and took the blame. Through all of her sadness and tears, she didn’t even acknowledge how the Gryffindor’s arms came to be around her, pulling her into the blond’s grasp, but they were and Celina crumpled into them and wrapped her own arms around the girl. Another feeling that she had long for, for so long; the embrace of the girl that practically was a sister that Celina had never had.
She continued to sob into the girl’s shoulder, and shook her head slightly. “He…he…he was going to…” she cried but couldn’t bring herself to tell Felicity what Shaw had threatened in her ear that night. It’d be giving away the fact that Shaw knew who her brother was, and Celina couldn’t explain it. In her state of mind, she feared to even reveal to her friend, even with as close as they had once been, that Alfonz Jedynak was her brother. But did she already know? He was then at the school, so would she have already heard.
“And…and now…” she still cried, and squeezed her friend in a hug to make sure that she was actually there and holding her. She didn’t want this all to be a dream that she would wake up from, and if it was, Celina hoped that it would just last a little longer. “I’m so sorry…” she whispered in her sobs, as they slowed to just tears and Celina finding her own way to sit upon the desk that Felicity had crawled over.
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Post by Felicity Hjort on Dec 1, 2007 21:42:45 GMT -5
The light brown eyes matched that of the darker eyes with the tears that were falling. Felicity knew it was her fault for making Celina tell Shaw, and she hadn't blamed her friend. Not when she was sure she'd been forced to tell for some reason, even if it was to save herself, how could Felicity not forgive her for that? It was a matter of self-preservation, she couldn't not like her friend merely for instincts, could she? No, she was pretty sure she couldn't. As Celina had concluded over holidays while writing letters back and forth, Felicity found Celina to be much like a sister to her. While she had plenty of them and didn't really require another one, she loved Celina so much she couldn't not accept her as a part of her little family.
The dark haired girl was someone she couldn't imagine not liking. She was incredibly wonderful, even if she allowed Felicity to make crazy schemes that didn't seem to work very well or ever correctly, it didn't matter. That was something she loved about Celina, she didn't discourage her from doing things, not when it meant so much to the blonde.
The arms were wrapped around her as tightly as she was holding onto the other girl, and she wasn't about to let go of her friend without a fight. No, this time no one was leaving until they talked. If both girls were sobbing, they were in need of some sort of a talk, no matter the subject matter, they really needed to talk to one another.
She listened to her friend and came to the conclusion she meant Shaw was going to hurt her if she didn't. The blonde didn't mind, she understood that she was going with instincts. While it hurt, and still did sting a little, she wasn't blaming Celina in the least bit. The only person meant to be blamed was Raynor. Not even Shaw could really be blamed, if it wasn't for Raynor, none of it would've happened.
"Celina, don't be sorry for anything, it's my fault," she told her friend. Not letting go as her friend shifted so she could sit on the desk as well, her own tears let up a little, but her face wasn't going to find itself dry for a while. The stored up tears waiting for just this moment were ready to be released. "If I hadn't made you go along with me, you wouldn't have had to tell."
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