just a rest

[Keagan Gerislynn]

"I'm sorry," she said again, casting her eyes downward before answering his question.

"My head's saying, 'Wait.' My head's saying, 'Stop offering things you don't intend to follow through with and give.' My head is saying, 'Stop following through with things you didn't plan to in the first place.' It's saying I'm hurting you more by doing what I'm doing than I would have if I never even touched you."

She leaned back at that, her hands slipping from his shoulders slightly. Would stopping now really do anything, though?

[Finn Kendrick]

Finn watched Keag as she spoke, feeling awful that he was starting to get angry. He felt his eyes watering again and he blinked, trying to keep it back. For a few moments, he was silent. He didn't really know what to say, but his voice came back as Keagan started to pull away again.

"Even if you are hurting me more," he began, "This is a pain I can live with. Please don't let go."

[Keagan Gerislynn]

She really didn't like the idea of having him "live with" pain, but he was pleading with her not to let go, so she didn't. Instead, she leaned forward again and hugged him tightly from behind.

"I would rather you live with the pain of longing than the pain of losing," she murmured into the cloth covering Finn's shoulder as she kissed his covered shoulder.

[Finn Kendrick]

Finn was having a little more trouble keeping his watering eyes from spilling out now. He hugged Keagan's arm that was wrapped around him and sniffled slightly. Oh how he wasn't he wasn't such a pansy. He really hated that he kept doing this, especially in front of Keagan.

Even through his shirt, Finn could still feel Keagan's soft lips on his shoulder, and he wished for them to be pressed against his own again. Sniffling again, Finn tried to speak.
"Let's just not worry about any pain right now," he whispered, "I'm not feeling any and neither should you."

[Keagan Gerislynn]

"If you're not feeling pain, why are you crying?" she asked softly, turning her head to look up at Finn's face. True, there weren't any tears fall, but she could hear the sniffles plain as day. The arm that Finn did not hold slowly lifted until the palm of Keagan's right hand was flush against Finn's left cheek, turning his face to look at her. "Hm?" she asked softly, stroking her thumb along his jawline.

[Finn Kendrick]

Sighing, Finn fought slightly against her hand, but let his head get turned to face Keag. Sniffling again slightly, Finn tried to speak. His throat decided to close up on him again, and he swallowed hard, trying to open it again.
"Because," he said, still in a whisper, "Because I'm more scared than anything. I'm scared that if I let go, I might lose you." He knew it sounded lame and childish, but it was the truth. Anyone would want Keagan, and he didn't want to risk losing her now.

[Keagan Gerislynn]

Seeing the Ravenclaw's face, Keagan observed that he looked absolutely miserable. And it tore at her heart to see him like that.

"You won't lose me," Keagan answered, stroking Finn's face again and placing a kiss on the bridge of his nose before resting her forehead against his. "Even if I follow my head; I promise."

[Finn Kendrick]

Hearing those words made it all seem so much better. A weak smile finally broke across Finn's lips and he flashed it at Keag.
"And I promise," Finn told Keagan, "That I will never hurt you. And I will never stop loving you." O...K, that wasn't supposed to come out. Finn bit his bottom lip, looking up at Keag who was resting against his forehead. Maybe she hadn't heard that part. Highly unlikely.

[Keagan Gerislynn]

Keagan smiled when Finn said he wouldn't hurt her; she had never thought he would. Intentionally, leastways. But as she heard and saw the word "loving" pass his lips, she winced involuntarily. That word didn't have a good place in her mind, or her heart. People who loved left.

Realizing a bit too late what Finn might think of her wincing, she pulled her head back and looked into his eyes. "Just...don't say love, love," she stated, placing a chaste kiss on his lips.

[Finn Kendrick]

Not exactly the reaction he was hoping for, but not the one he was completely dreading either. Still, a wince? That could not be good. Finn was about to ask why when he was cut off by her lips again. A smile snuck it's way across Finn's lips as they were pressed against Keag's and he even moaned slight.
"Mmmm," came the noise from the Ravenclaw.

However, he did still need to ask.
"Why no 'love'?" he questioned, somewhat concerned again. Finn guessed it had something to do with her last relationship and he wished she wouldn't always go back to that.
"I'm not like those other lads, you know," Finn murmured almost bitterly, "I actually mean it. And I'm not going to leave, either."

[Keagan Gerislynn]

Keagan was surprised by the sound that escaped Finn's lips at her kiss, and though she tried to restrain it, she pulled back a bit more quickly than she had planned. Only to be confronted by his question, of course. She glanced away as she debated with herself about whether to answer or not; she had hoped to distract him, but apparantly it hadn't worked.

"It's just..." she started looking down, thinking another moment before finishing her reply. "Really fast. And I know you're different, but the word just...scares me."

Her shoulders slumped silghtly. This was all mixed up.

"I'm sorry," she murmured; she hated that near-bitter tone in his voice.

[Finn Kendrick]

Another sigh escaped Finn's lips at Keagan's words. He wished he could just accept the fact that it wasn't going to happen any time soon.
"Don't apologize," he muttered, looking down again and feeling his cheeks turn that familiar pink once again. They hadn't done it in a while, but it was surely making up for its absence now.

"Why does it?" Finn asked suddenly, his voice low as he spoke, "Why?"

[Keagan Gerislynn]

Keagan's lips moved in another apology as she was reprimanded for apologizing, but it was a silent one.

Keagan looked up as Finn asked another question, startled by the way his voice was so low now. "Why?" she replied quietly. She didn't quite know how to respond at first, but an answer eventually found a voice. "Because I don't think I've ever known someone to really mean it. The way it really should be said. I don't know how to trust it."

The Gryffindor paused, swallowing, before adding just a bit more, her voice much quieter, even, than it had been. "In the case it really was true...it scares me to think of feeling that close to another person."

[Finn Kendrick]

Touching her chin and tilting her head to face him, Finn's eyes locked onto Keag's as he spoke to her.
"You're looking right at someone who really does mean it," he told her, kissing her on the tip of her nose, "So you better learn how to trust it." Finn flashed her a smile and his expression was soft and hopeful, wanting her to believe him.

"You don't have to say it right now," Finn said, "You don't even have to feel it. Just...if you do, know that I'm going to be waiting for you."

[Keagan Gerislynn]

Keagan's eyes looked right back into Finn's, wide as he raised her face with a gentle touch to her chin. Her cheeks burned lightly under his gaze, especially as he leaned forward and kissed the very tip of her nose. She nodded her head shallowly, seeing how incredibly honest his gaze was and not willing to break the lock of their gazes. She did believe him, but it didn't make her any less frightened by it.