A bit of fanfic

[Allegra Thornton]

Okay, I'm posting this mostly to show Ari something, but I thought you might enjoy it too. Keep in mind I wrote this way before the fifth book came out (it's not as funny now IMO, but still ) And, yeah, I've posted it AGES ago, both on the HP Lexicon (under my real name) and JMS (under my character name), so if you've read it before, you can tell everyone how much better it was before the fifth book

[Allegra Thornton]

Harry Potter
and the Hat That Talked Back

Harry nervously sat on the stool while hundreds of eyes focused on him, and thought desperately “Not Slytherin, not Slytherin!”

“Not Slytherin, eh?” answered the hat’s tiny voice. “I guess that’s why YOU are not the sorting hat, hmm? That cheeky Granger girl was up here asking the same thing. HA! SHE wanted to be in Gryffindor! As if she had a choice! And what did I do? I put her in Ravenclaw, which is where she belongs! Every year, I get these stupid first years who think they know better than I as to where they are best suited. Well, I’m sick of it, I tell you, S..I..C..K.. SICK! As if you, with your eleven wise and wonderful years know anything about anything… and don’t give me that ‘I know math and stuff!’ Please! I have been doing this for hundreds of years, yet every year I get a bunch of snot-nosed twerps who think they know better! Do you think this is Burger King? Do you think you can have it your way? NO! Who do you think you are, trying to tell me how to do my job? HELLO! I’m an ENCHANTED hat! It is my job to look into your head and see where you will best be suited and no amount of whining ‘Please, Gryffindor’ or ‘Not Slytherin’ is going to change that! If I say you’re in Slytherin, you’re in Slytherin and YOU, my friend, you are SO Slytherin, I wouldn’t be surprised if you broke out in Parseltounge occasionally! You’ll be in Slytherin whether you like it or not, so you might as well get over it and sit your skinny butt down next to that oily Malfoy brat! And on your way over there, you might as well tell that Weasley kid that his mother is going to be severely disappointed in him for not making Gryffindor either! I can tell from here, that boy has Hufflepuff written all over him!

[Robert Shaw]

Wow... I completely disregarded all known material in all the books and just read it like it was any other story. And, in turn have come to this conclusion:







THAT WAS GREAT!

[Drew Thornton]

My favorite line: "... and YOU, my friend, you are SO Slytherin, I wouldn’t be surprised if you broke out in Parseltounge occasionally!"

[hermione7lunaroc]

Bravo! I loved it! Much better than my own lol

[arianna]

I told you it was good

[Cameron Chambers]

That's awesome!!!!!!!! I love it!!! Very great!!

[diablo]

lol I know i'm late. its like i just noticed this board.

My favorite line is: And on your way over there, you might as well tell that Weasley kid that his mother is going to be severely disappointed in him for not making Gryffindor either! I can tell from here, that boy has Hufflepuff written all over him!