Green is the Color of Envy..[Near the Doors]

[Esmerelda Mizart]

January 17th, early in the morning, near the doors of the Great Hall, but a place where you can be alone among all the chaos.

[Dean and anyone else who wishes to be in it. But it has to be relevant. =)]

Es walked over the a wall in which nothing was happening. She needed another breather. This made her mind go back to the day before, when she'd almost died from a panic attack, and Brandon showed up. They exchanged nasty words, and somehow, revealed that they loved one another. He wanted her, even after everything she'd done to him and put him through, [though in reality, she hadn't really tried to hurt him at all]. The glow of their meeting hadn't worn off and it had helped her through the cold, January night with her attempting to comfort crying children and get everyone go to sleep.

She didn't know how long this takeover would last but suddenly it was bearable. Yesterday she wanted to kill herself, or it seemed like her body was, anyway. Today she was in a wonderful mood even though they were being invaded and locked in at this point in time. Es slid down the wall into a sitting position with a sigh. Life was so weird sometimes. It didn't mean she wasn't scared to death that something horrible could happen, she was. It just meant that she could deal with it.

She looked up in suprise as she heard someone walking towards her. Uh oh..

[deanq]

Dean wandered around as much as he could under the watchful eyes of their captors. He couldn't help but staring at the faceless beings as he walked about the edge of the Great Hall. It was early in the morning, he should have been sleeping while he ad the chance but he was restless. He wanted to know what had happened when Es had followed Brandon, whether they were back together, what was happening now. All of these thoughts raced through his head as he spotted the girl he so desperately wanted to talk to, but was also afraid of what she might say. Part of him knew she would choose Brandon, he was the first one she opened up to, he loved her. But another part of him wanted Brandon to go away, for him to forget about Es. He was selfish, he knew, but he couldn't help himself.

Dean smiled slightly and shoved his hands deep into the pockets of his jacket. He had long since ditched the custom Hogwarts Robes. " Hey, you. " He said cautiously and then looked to the spot next to Es, somewhat asking her if he could sit down. He didn't want to cause anything really, especially not here and not now.

[Esmerelda Mizart]

Es took a deep breath in and let it out in a silent whoosh as she gave him a small smile.

"Hey."

She responded quietly in response to his brilliantly clever greeting. She wasn't ready for this and yet, she knew she had to get it over with. It wasn't fair to keep Dean on pins and needles. The whole situation didn't seem fair, really. Dean came into her life and he seemed like the perfect guy, except for the whole Keagan thing. Heck, they even flirted the whole time at a 7th year dinner party that they were supposed to be serving at, instead of doing their job. And there was that whole, date thing that they had planned. She remembered that she'd been so excited, she had tingled for days.

That was before he took off without an explanation. But then again, he'd had a perfectly good one all along. Then she met Brandon and his snappy, jerk-face, yet witty comments kept her on her toes and they ocnnected instantly. It was like, all this time she was waiting for herself to open up to Dean so they could actually start the relationship that they deserved to have, then he left, and Brandon practically dragged her out of her shell. Or, he told her to come and she followed.

It just wasn't fair.

It was too darn complicated and Es was sick of all the drama it had been creating for too long. Her smile was a sad one and she saw his gaze go to the empty spot next to her.

"Do you wanna sit down?"

She asked. Duh. Of course he did.

[deanq]

He nodded at her greeting, biting down lightly on the inside of his lip as he slid down to the ground next to her. He noticed with a sad feeling that Es' smile seemed to take on a sad feeling of it's own as he glanced down to her. But now that he was sitting next to her, about six inches away because.. Well he didn't know yet. But he had a feeling from the way Es wasn't looking all that happy to see him. He tore his eyes away from her and glanced around the Great Hall, a deep sigh escaping him as he did so. They really couldn't have chosen a worse time to let this happen and to go through this. But they had to. There was no going back now.

Dean looked back over to Es, a somewhat curious look on hia face as he did so. " Well... " He said, trailing off slightly and then saying, " How're you holding up? " He asked, motioning to the Great Hall slightly. It was crazy.

[Esmerelda Mizart]

As he sat down, she glanced at him before staring straight ahead. She didn't know what to say, she didn't know what to do. Usually, she would have scooted next to him so she could be pressed against him, and moved his arm around her so they could be comfy. But there was no way that could be possible now. She wasn't sure that she wanted to happen anyways. She needed to choose officially, and yearning for something she wasn't going to let happen ever again, wasn't good. Even though the Great Hall was almost deafening, the silence that was between the two of them was so thick, you could cut it with a knife. She looked to him when he finally spoke, waiting for the question that was on both of their minds. It wasn't. At least, not in the way she thought it would be.

"Uhm... pretty well. I feel kind of helpless, though, I don't know how to help everyone. I'm just kind of trying to comfort those I can, small children, I guess."

She pushed her hair behind her ear and glanced at him.

"How about you?"

[deanq]

Dean tapped his fingers lightly on his knee as he propped his leg up slightly, wanting to ginve himself something to do. He found himself glancing over at Es every so often, he couldn't help himself. In her absence he couldn't take his mind off of her, wondering what was next, and now that he was sitting next to Es it filled him with anticipation to be having a conversation that wasn't about what they really needed to talk about. He nodded slightly at her answer, he felt the same way. Helpless, unsure of what these people wanted and why they had come to their school. He shrugged slightly as she returned the question back to him. " I kind of just wish they would go away. Leave us alone, you know? " He asked her rather rhetorically. " I wonder what they want.. ? " He trailed off, looking at Es questioningly.

[Esmerelda Mizart]

Their eyes met as he started to answer and she glanced away. Es could feel the blush slowly rise in her cheeks and she hoped he wouldn't notice. She felt stupid. Why was she acting like she had some little schoolgirl crush on him or something? Besides the blushing, they couldn't stop glancing at eachother; and even though she knew that people looked at one another as they spoke, she could feel the difference when they glanced at eachother.

She brushed black hair out of her face and looked around the Great Hall. Her gaze landed on each of the faceless men who guarded the room. They looked fiercesome. Even though you couldn't see their faces, you could tell they meant business. She looked back to Dean.

"It's probably a power trip for Shaw, or he decided to get back at someone in the school who'd done him wrong or something."

She hypothesized disgustedly. Their gaze met again and she wondered when they would stop messing around and actually get down to business. She hated thie forced conversation, but she really didn't want to bring the subject up.

[deanq]

" Hmm.. " Dean hummed softly in reply to Es' hypothesis of Shaw getting back at someone in the school. It wouldn't have surprised him a bit. Dean shook his head slightly to clear his thoughts, stopping when he met Es' gaze again. He sighed and looked down to the floor, knowing he would have to be the one to bring up the topic neither of them seemed to want to talk about but they both truely needed to talk about.

He looked back up at her again and looked directly in her eyes. " What happened after you followed Brandon? What's going on? Are you two back together? I really thought... well it doesn't matter what I thought, but still Es. I think maybe I deserve to know?... " He trailed off, his hand distractedly brushing lightly against his chin, thinking. A sad and contemplative expression took on his face as he thought about how much he had been looking forward to being with Es once he got back to school. But he couldn't now, all because of Brandon. And now he was angry, angry that he had to leave at all and angry that Brandon had been able to win over Es so easily. He bit down lightly on the inside of his cheek as he looked back to the floor, feeling somewhat afraid of Es' answer, even thought he thought he knew already. And it wasn't good for him.

[Esmerelda Mizart]

She was safe for a moment as he unintelligently answered "Hmm...." Silence followed until their eyes connected again. And here we go... she thought as he started asking the questions she knew consumed him for days on end. Too many questions came to fast and even though she knew the answer, she didn't want to tell him. Es could feel her eyes filling with tears but she fought them back as she tucked her long black hair behind her ear, looking to him.

"Uhm..I kept following until he turned around and cursed at me, telling me to leave him alone. So I left him alone. A couple days ago, I had a panic attack and he happened to be in the hallway that I burst into. He yelled at me, I yelled at him and then.. we kind of worked it out."

She looked at him, her eyes full of tears. She didn't want this to end. It wasn't right. Dean was there first. But, all is fair in love and war, right?

"I'm sorry, Dean.."

She practically whispered, drawing her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms around her knees. Dean was gone. He wasn't fast enough. That's how life was. The early Slytherin gets the snake.

[deanq]

We kind of worked it out. " Kind of worked it out.. " He repeated, the words stinging him slightly as he said them out loud. He noticed the way her eyes filled with tears, how sad she looked. And he felt bad for making her feel anything but happy. ' It just can't happen.. ' He thought sadly, he knew it had been true before they even had the discussion, he knew as soon as Es followed Brandon on that night. But just him coming to terms with it was hard enough. He then wanted to turn away from her, he couldn't stand being this close and not being able to hold her, to say that it was all a dream.

But reality set in as he looked up to Es and saw her eyes full of tears threatening to spill over. I'm sorry, Dean.. He nodded slightly, feeling the sting of tears being held back. He wanted to be strong. He nodded and said," Me too. I'm.. sorry I got you into this. " His voice was low and quiet as he looked at Es.

[Esmerelda Mizart]

It stung her as well, hearing the pain in his voice and he repeated her voice. She knew it hurt him, how could it not? The irony of the situation stung her, because it was like, all this time she was waiting for someone to care for her. Actually, she was waiting for Dean to express his care for her. And he finally did. But it was just too late. Cause she already had someone.

Tears slipped from her eyes and she struggled to keep them silent, this was no time for her to go bawling about something, especially infront of a million little kids that looked up to her and was expecting for her to comfort them, not watch her cry. She bit her bottom lip and look to Dean, shaking her head.

"It wasn't your fault, at all. You can't help feelings.."

Her last sentence was almost whispered again. This whole thing seemed almost comedic, like something that should be on a soap opera. But it wasn't, this was her reality. She ignored the hair in her face and stared at the ground, wishing this nightmare was over.

[deanq]

Dean turned away sligthly, his shoulders now facing straightforward instead of towards Es. He cleared his throat and glanced back to the other sixth year, seeing a few tears lightly cascading down her face. " Yeah. I know. " He smiled weakly, because it was the most true thing either of them had said as of yet, you really can't help feelings. Dean suddenly felt tired, a little worn down in all this chaos.

He gently tilted his head back to lean up against the wall behind him, closing his eyes as he did so. It hurt him to see Es cry and not comfort her. But he didn't feel like he could, what if Brandon walked up, saw them, and thought something was going on again? That would do no good for Es. She didn't need anymore trouble, especially any of Dean's causing. " Okay, " he finally said, turning now to look at Es. " What to do then, eh? I mean.. we can still be friends, right? " This question was one that had burned him slightly since he knew that Es and Brandon were back together. Could they still be friends? Dean knew he still had feelings for Es, but... they could still be friends. He was sure of it. And as for Brandon... well he couldn't pick whom Es was friends with.

[Esmerelda Mizart]

Es ignored the way her tear-stained cheeks tingled with pain and longing. She looked to Dean, hearing the surrender and disbelief in his voice. She was suprised, and hurt to see him crying. Her arms practically ached to hold him and comfort him and tell him it would be alright and that they'd be together in the end. But this was the end, and she had already chosen. They weren't together. She tried to wipe away her tears, feeling tired, like he was.

She was ready for the beginning to begin, and she was tired of all this drama. Es looked to him as he spoke, a sad, but hopeful smile creeping onto her face. She nodded her head, pushing hair out of her face.

"Of course, Dean, you're one of my best friends! How could we not?"

But she knew their relationship would be different. How could it not? That's just the way things were..