Desideria Tapia
Hogwarts Staff
LOA Hufflepuff Head of House Professor Potions
Posts: 225
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Post by Desideria Tapia on Apr 27, 2008 1:28:04 GMT -5
A long day, but a good one for breakthroughs. Desideria had been working nearly incessantly on a particular potion for near on to a fortnight and thought she finally found a stabilizing component that was actually stable enough to mix in with a number of other stable ingredients. Cleaning Solutions were not her favorite of potions, but she knew they were more than necessary and as she was still waiting to hear back on her potion she'd created, she needed something to take up her time. The British Ministry sure took their time and wasted much of hers. It was incredibly ridiculous.
However, at the moment she was busy writing down those particular components and exactly what she'd done. It was a matter of recording every movement and moment, which was often tedious, but the woman took it in stride, knowing that it was possible she could put her name to something more, if the Ministry ever got around to bothering with things of the sort. It really boggled her mind how they thought it was fine to waste so much of another person's time. This was the third time she had to deal with them.
The first time was only because she'd found a mistake in a print they put out and it was a dangerous mistake, thankfully that tidbit was easily cleared. The second time was because her employer was ill and needed something done inside of the Ministry and they'd given her a Hell of time then because she wasn't Mildred Wilson. No matter the explanation, they didn't want to bother with her. And the third time, well, that was now, trying to get her own potion approved of. It was proving to be an extremely anticipated time in her life, that and stressful.
Scribbling, scratching, noting, and inking, Desideria sat behind her desk writing everything down. The plants that surrounded her office along all the counters could almost make her office be mistaken for the Herbology Professor's office, but it wasn't. The storage cupboard was way in back where no one would be able to get past a number of her charms and plants. There were three bubbling cauldrons, simultaneously brewing three different potions. One was the Polyjuice potion for her fourth and fifth year class, one was the cleaning solution, and the third, well, that was her special potion that was ready in case the Ministry gave her approval. Of course, she'd never admit that she brewed a small batch for selling over the summer holidays down on streets her Grandmother wouldn't ever travel. Well, she was sure her Grandmother wouldn't travel if she knew her Grandmother.
((Layla))
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Layla Jimenez
Witch
Healer-In-Training
[on:*le pounce*][of:...in hiding]
Posts: 529
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Post by Layla Jimenez on Apr 28, 2008 22:38:58 GMT -5
The sun was still warm as it slowly sunk into the horizon, lighting up the school grounds and ending the day. Students in the castle had already started on assignments, or perhaps were just waiting for dinner. Layla was not one of those students, nor could she feel the last rays of warmth of the sun. At the moment, she was descending into the dungeons for the second time that day. She felt the chill of the stone steps creep under her skin with every step she took.
There was a time when it wouldn't have bothered her so much. But she was still finding it a bit difficult to navigate herself in the castle, and through classes. She always felt like she was doing something wrong, or not well enough. She was constantly double checking herself. It was tiring, but there was a part of her that couldn't stop being so frantic.
This anxious feeling was only fueled when the Potions Professor had asked her to stop by her office later that day. Layla, of course, had agreed, but wasn't sure what the conversation would be about. She had spent the entire day replaying the Potions lesson in her head. Layla remembered having hesitated more times than she could count, and hadn't really been able to take initiative, mostly taking her lead from Drew. But other than that, the result hadn't been that bad. Besides, Drew wouldn't have let her screw up. Had she really been that bad? That now the Professor needed to talk to her?
Layla's face had grown a small, concerned frown by the time she had reached the office door. For a second, she thought of turning around and heading back to the Tower. But then she'd have to make up however many excuses it took to cover it up afterwards. Feeling her tummy rumble, Layla took one last breath before knocking softly on the door.
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Desideria Tapia
Hogwarts Staff
LOA Hufflepuff Head of House Professor Potions
Posts: 225
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Post by Desideria Tapia on May 3, 2008 2:28:46 GMT -5
Crossing out something that just didn't make sense when it was down on paper, Desideria worked on re-wording the information, needing it to be as precise as possible. If it wasn't, people would make mistakes and mistakes were not something she needed to be taken to court over. Dealing with the Ministry again when it wasn't necessary wasn't something she wanted to really participate in doing.
The scratching of the quill on parchment was a nice rhythmatic noise, provinding for the sense of accomplishment in her life. If only the Ministry would hurry with their answer so she could move on with her life, or her discovery. If it was something they approved of then she'd be signing the potion over, she knew, but she'd be getting a cut deal and her name on every copy ever sold of the potion. A good feeling it would provide in the end of it all.
But before dreams could be continued there was a soft noise at her door and at first the portly woman thought it was just passing student, having forgotten she'd invited Miss. Jimenez to stop by her office that day. There were a few things she wanted to discuss with the young woman after observing her in the classroom. Nothing major,, just a few minor things. She was doing well as could be expected, being she wasn't doing all of her own work. The professor didn't mind her students grouping up, especially when it saved them some extra potion ingredients so they wouldn't run out by the end of the term and being in their last year it was good to see team work; hwoever, she wanted to see her students excel on their own as well.
The N.E.W.T.s exam could not be taken together, they'd have to do so on their own and the sooner they branched away from one another, the better for theirselves by the end of the term. It would be the making or breaking point of their abilities for the exam.
Realizing though that she'd let such an important matter slip her mind, the woman hastily began shoving her papers everywhere, being sure to get them in drawers where the notes wouldn't smear while calling out a distracted, "come in, come in!"
While she wanted to speak with the girl about her reliance on other students, her timidness to branch out, she also wanted to speak with her about a proposal that would hopefully break her from her mold she'd stuck herself into.
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Layla Jimenez
Witch
Healer-In-Training
[on:*le pounce*][of:...in hiding]
Posts: 529
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Post by Layla Jimenez on May 3, 2008 23:09:38 GMT -5
Layla's hope that the Potions Professor was not to be found in her office crumbled when she heard the woman's voice pierce through the heavy office door. She was still waiting for some miraculous, and random, even to occur a split second before she opened the door and faced the woman behind the desk on the other side.
Seeing that there was no one to rescue her in the next three seconds, Layla grasped the iron knob and turned it before applying her weight to open the door. She let her head pop in first, and her eyes instinctively scanned the office. She was easily enchanted at the many things that made it so very Potions. The shelves and books were organized in a way only the Professor would know and the three cauldrons bubbled with life, making the room pulsate from within. At another time, Layla would have let her curiosity extend to all these things, but at the moment she could only turn her attention to the figure sitting behind the desk.
Layla took two steps into the room, closing the door behind her and standing by the entrance. She tried her best to not look worried or anxious or any of the things that were churning in her stomach, though she felt like she wasn't doing very well. She took a short breath before speaking. Layla tried to reason with herself. She had spoken to her out of class before. She seemed like a very nice person, and interested in her students. This couldn't be anything too bad... right?
"Good Afternoon, Professor," she said meekly, trying to smile. "I came here as soon as I was free."
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Desideria Tapia
Hogwarts Staff
LOA Hufflepuff Head of House Professor Potions
Posts: 225
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Post by Desideria Tapia on May 5, 2008 18:31:36 GMT -5
"Come in deary," Desideria continued to tell the girl. Even timid about entering an office. While this was a meeting, it hadn't occurred to the woman that she hadn't explained to Layla why she wanted to see her, just having told her to drop by. Discussions weren't always bad in the professor's mind, it was how Slughorn approached her about fine-tuning her own potion abilities. The man was ingenious, almost as much as Dumbledore in his own right. While Desideria had only spoken to the previous Headmaster a few times, she knew he was brilliant, everyone did, but she hadn't spoken to him enough to put him on a much higher pedestal than Slughorn was on in her mind. Pompous, arrogant, and every bit of him she had loved. He was the perfect professor for potions. While he was the Head of Slytherin back then he'd been a good professor.
Standing up from behind her desk, she walked around and leaned against the other edge where she had a couple of seats waiting for visitors, and waved the Ravenclaw closer. This was a meeting, a discussion, a proposal. The girl needed to be comfortable.
"Take a seat Miss. Jimenez, make yourself comfortable." How comfortable could one really be though in the presence of a professor when they had no idea why their presence was requested.
"Now I wanted to speak to you," she started off with a warm smile, hoping not to frighten the girl any. Her marks were wonderful currently, but she really could do to branch out and away from Andrew and possibly take on the woman's offer. It would be a good step in the right direction for a career if it was something the young woman was interested in. "About your performance in my class. You're doing a great job for the time being, but well... why don't we start this way. What do you think are the possibilities I requested to see you 'ere today?"
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Layla Jimenez
Witch
Healer-In-Training
[on:*le pounce*][of:...in hiding]
Posts: 529
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Post by Layla Jimenez on May 5, 2008 21:41:41 GMT -5
Layla was able to draw in a breath when the Professor offered her not only a seat, but a smile as well. Nodding slightly, she walked over to where she had pointed and picked out which seemed the plushiest one. "Thank you," she muttered, attempting a smile and trying to get a grip. The woman is smiling, calm down! She wiggled slightly in her seat, trying to make herself comfortable. There had to be a way to get through this without having an aneurism.
The Professor had barely started speaking when she felt her stomach drop. Her performance in class? Of course, she said that it was great, but apparently only 'for the time being'? Layla immediately reddened slightly in the face and looked down at her shoes. It was exactly the thing she'd been dreading all summer holiday. She'd go nuts trying to brush up her self-taught, two years of magical theory, all while learning one more year on top of it. Then one by one her Professors would call her into their office and express their disappointment. There were moments, of course, where she thought it was an absurd fear. But here it was... it was already starting.
She knew how she wanted to answer the Professor's question. If she was going to be reprimanded on her work, she wanted it to be quick and easy. But Layla held her tongue and looked back wide-eyed at her teacher. "I... I'm not really sure, Professor," she said hesitantly. "I know I made a few errors in class, but..." She had to stop herself when she heard her voice thicken, holding back the urge to cry. Now she wasn't sure what to be more upset about; being given a 'talk' about her academic performance or acting so ridiculous.
"I don't know," she finally blurted. It was a general statement. It not only applied to the question the Professor had posed but also to pretty much everything Layla felt she was facing. She didn't know what she was doing. Looking down again at the ground, Layla folded her hands and shrugged helplessly.
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Desideria Tapia
Hogwarts Staff
LOA Hufflepuff Head of House Professor Potions
Posts: 225
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Post by Desideria Tapia on May 9, 2008 1:06:35 GMT -5
Behavior striking Desideria as still not confident in herself. The young woman's face was red as a tomato and her shoes were suddenly very interesting to her eyes. If she wanted to step ahead of the crowd, get her marks up to par as Desideria could see they should be, she needed to branch out, it was the only way. Mr. Thornton was a wonderful potions student, she didn't see him having the same potention as Miss. Jimenez did and if she kept relying on him, her potential would go out the door with her marks on the NEWT. Helping one another out was fine, but from the professor's observations, Layla seemed to be following and not leading; a very dangerous game.
"Errors deary, are the only way you'll learn 'ow to properly brew a potion," Desideria continued when the girl started almost apologizing for making errors. "Errors are 'ow most of the potions we know today were created. A little too much salamanders blood, not enough aconite, completely forgetting to add ginger. Making errors is nothing to be frowned upon." If this girl had been studying hard at the theory, she would've picked up on this information somewhere, and Desideria was sure she knew it. So why the look? Why the tone?
"And that's where the problem lies, deary," the woman answered her sudden conclusion that she didn't know. "This summer when we met, we talked about experimenting with potions, do you remember?" she asked her kindly. "In order to do something of the sort, you need to 'ave the confidence that you can make a potion on your own by just following instructions. You're really doing quite well in my class, but I fear you may be relying too 'eavily on Mr. Thornton's lead rather than your own. I'm fine with students making group work out of their potions, it saves everyone a few extra ingredients, but I'm not fond of it when I think a student starts to rely on another."
Watching the young woman's behavior, Desideria took a breath and continued. "I really think you 'ave an ability Layla, but I fear you're supressing it by not breaking away from the crew you sit with enough. I know you make your own potions, but you seem so... timid about it. You're promise to put your best foot forward is doing well in my class, but not so well with getting you ahead of the game."
There were a number of ways she could choose to take the conversation, but she truly believed there was a great potions perfectionist sitting in front of her, it was just her confidence was keeping her at bay.
"I wanted to offer you a proposition if your schedule isn't too full as of yet. You see, I'm apt to taking on assistants with my work and in my classes." Her feeling was that students who could help found themselves in positions where they were needed to make a decision, were required to build their confidence. Desideria knew the Cronon boy was learning just from helping.
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Layla Jimenez
Witch
Healer-In-Training
[on:*le pounce*][of:...in hiding]
Posts: 529
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Post by Layla Jimenez on May 11, 2008 21:58:58 GMT -5
Layla opened her mouth as if she were going to say something. possibly even defend herself. The words failed to reach her tongue and she looked down again, fiddling with her shoes. "You're right, Professor, I'm sorry." Her voice was small and dejected, but the words were the only ones she could come up with. It was the truth. She knew she had been relying on Drew a bit much, even she could admit that. "Drew's been helping me here and there with my schoolwork," she told her. It was absolutely true and the last thing she wanted was get the wrong idea about Drew because of her.
This was really something she didn't want to get into, but now that Tapia had her there, she felt like she needed to explain herself. "I'm still... reviewing a few things from the 5th and 6th year curriculum that I haven't even tried out and that's on top of the N.E.W.T.S. classes." She spoke with her gaze down, imaging the pile of parchment sitting in her trunk. It was steadily getting smaller, but the pave had slowed down since the school year had started. The only other person who knew about this was Drew. But none of her other professors had said anything about her performance... yet. Perhaps this was to be the first of many. But a small part of her was a bit relieved that she was able to describe her situation a bit more. She was just a bit disappointed that she hadn't been able to stay under the radar.
Layla's thoughts were interrupted when the Professor spoke again. She must have confused herself at some point, because she didn't quite understand what she'd just said. Teaching Assistant? Had the woman hit her head recently? First this was a conversation questioning her performance and now she was offering her a teaching assistant position? "I... I don't quite understand, Professor." she told her. "I thought you said I wasn't doing well as I could be." If so, then why would she give her even more responsibility?
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Desideria Tapia
Hogwarts Staff
LOA Hufflepuff Head of House Professor Potions
Posts: 225
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Post by Desideria Tapia on May 14, 2008 1:00:38 GMT -5
Apologies were not what the woman was expecting, she hadn't been expecting anything about hearing Mr. Thornton had a hand in helping the girl with her homework. Just from watching in their potions lessons, the woman could see Layla was having a hearty hand of help from the boy, not that there was anything worng with it mind you, she just had her own concerns over performances. There was nothing wrong with getting a push from another willing to give it, but sometimes a person needed to realize their own potential and go for the gold, as this young woman needed to do.
"Layla deary," Desideria started, "there's nothing wrong with getting an extra boost from another, that's not what I'm trying to say at all. I'm more concerned of your performance level not being to the level I know you can reach all on your own. With your N.E.W.T.s exams at the end of this term you need to be able to brew a potion nearly with your eyes closed, alone." Her concern lay there.
"And reviewing is a wonderful thing, and I'm sure all of your Professors are willing to 'elp if you need any at all. I'm 'ere night and day and more than willing to give a bit of extra teachings if that's what you want," she didn't think it was what was needed though. "But I can already see 'ow much your doing on your own and I don't want to add unnecessary work or stress. You really don't need the extra 'elp in my class I don't believe dear. I've seen you working away over boiling cauldrons, I'm just afraid that you're second-guessing yourself all too often and that's going to lead to reliance on another that won't be able to be there every single step of the way."
The older woman could see it in her eyes, the passion that lingered just on the edge, but she was too timid to bring it out. If extra lessons would help the girl, Desideria was all for giving them to her at her conveneince, but didn't think that was necessary when she had other ways of making students step into positions that a potion master (or mistress) faced every day.
"You're not doing as well as you could be," she reiterated Layla's statement bluntly; Desideria didn't have too much tack. "But I think getting you into an environment where you can 'elp others with their brewing potions may be a big 'elp to you." Being faced with questions of, 'is this enough?' 'Was that the right ingredient?' 'I lost my necklace in there.' Just might help her with her confidence.
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Layla Jimenez
Witch
Healer-In-Training
[on:*le pounce*][of:...in hiding]
Posts: 529
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Post by Layla Jimenez on May 17, 2008 22:52:25 GMT -5
Layla sat back and listened to the older woman talk to her. She hated feeling like she was being lectured, like she'd done something wrong. But according to the Professor the only wrong she'd done was relying on someone else. But she needed to... right? At least for now. At least until she felt like she could handle everything on her own again. Letting out a sigh, she allowed the woman's words sink in. Had she really gotten that bad? Perhaps she had felt so helpless that she had clung onto anything that would let her? Was she like this in all her classes?
"I didn't realize..." she started, knowing that there were probably more things she'd yet to realize. "I didn't know I was getting that dependent on my classmates." Her eyes finally left her legs as she crossed them, looking up at the Potions Professor, hoping that her good humor towards their conversation extended to its end. She still looked apologetic, but now knew that an apology was not what she had called her for. The Professor's blunt assessments had stung her already-wounded ego, but Layla found that it was needed.
Layla found herself in an odd position. This was something she, normally, would have loved to do. Potions had her attention since the first time she'd ever descended into the Dungeons. It was an honor to be asked, but she had been asked to coax her out of a poor routine she had fallen into, not based on merit. Layla looked around the office a bit uneasily, but looked at her Professor for the honest answer she now knew she'd get. "Do you think I can get better? I mean... with being an assistant? I... I just don't know how if I'll be very good at it."
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Desideria Tapia
Hogwarts Staff
LOA Hufflepuff Head of House Professor Potions
Posts: 225
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Post by Desideria Tapia on May 20, 2008 22:49:29 GMT -5
"Sometimes we don't realize the things that sit right in front of us, deary," Desideria answered with a knowing smile. How many times had she thought she needed to rely on another in her career? Too many, and that was when she learned to fend for herself or she'd never get anywhere. And just look at where she had gotten herself, a nice comfortable job at her old school. So it wasn't the highest paying job, but it had a good contract and she wasn't afraid of losing her job to the competition. Her excellent skills were had to be challenged, mixed in with her personality and charactersitics. Layla really had shown great improvement, but in order to show what she really had, the young woman needed to take the initiative and do her own thing without the help of others.
"I wouldn't 'ave called you down 'ere to ask if I didn't think so," she immediately told her honestly. Sure, she might've called the girl down for a talk about way to improve, but she wouldn't have offered the position, just extra lessons. "And 'ow do you know you won't be any good at it if you don't try? I'm not saying by any means you are required to be one of my assistants, but dear, I think it would 'elp a great deal. You need a bit more confidence to add to your work. Trust me, with others asking you questions, needing direction, and requesting your undivided attention at times, your confidence will be all you have to go on. Patience gets lost quickly, you can lose your 'ead, but... if you build your confidence up even you will notice the improvements that'll be made.
"And my offer doesn't end at 'elping me in classes. Mr. Cronon of your year also 'elps me out with preparing lessons, readying ingredients, and even does a bit of work for my own potions, though I don't think he quite realizes just 'ow much of a 'elp 'e's given and 'ow much 'e's learned under my wing." Winking at the young woman, Tapia folded her arms across her chest, not in a menacing way, but out of relaxation. "What I'd be requiring from you is a bit of your time to 'elp me with settling my students and 'aving their lessons ready for them to learn. If any of them require extra 'elp and I'm unable to attend to their needs, I would need you to give them that boost of confidence they need to continue. I'd be requesting your 'elp to collect certain ingredients from Professors 'Ectis and Davenport when called upon at your convenience, you'd get a 'and in 'elping me study potions I'm working on, and you'd be learning new tricks of your own."
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Layla Jimenez
Witch
Healer-In-Training
[on:*le pounce*][of:...in hiding]
Posts: 529
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Post by Layla Jimenez on May 23, 2008 9:48:43 GMT -5
Layla couldn't help but blush when the older woman insisted that she'd wouldn't have asked her if she didn't think she would do well. Her eyes lit up when she mentioned another student who was an assistant as well. She recognized the name, but not the face. After a few seconds, she realized that Alexander wasn't even in her N.E.W.T.S. class.
The more the woman spoke of the tasks that were involved, the more torn Layla felt. They all sounded so exciting, most notably the part where she'd be involved with Tapia's on potions. She couldn't imagine she'd do much alone since she figured the potions were very rare or important, but having some part in the process sounded alluring to her. Interacting with younger students? That sort of cringe a bit on the inside. What if they asked her something and she didn't know the answer? Or even worse, she gave them a wrong answer!?
Layla couldn't quite think of any reason why she should accept. She had so much work already and she wasn't sure how she was going to catch up. But as she sat in the Potion Mistress' office, she saw herself in a place she knew she'd want to be more often. "Well..." she finally said timidly after a long pause, "I can't really think of a reason to decline." She quickly looked up and laughed nervously. "I mean... it's not like I don't want to, because I do. It's just I don't know..." She found that she couldn't quite describe the feeling that was holding her back, the one she was desparately trying to override. "But... I'd love to, Professor." Her response had come out tiny and subdued, but as she uttered them, she knew that she meant it.
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Desideria Tapia
Hogwarts Staff
LOA Hufflepuff Head of House Professor Potions
Posts: 225
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Post by Desideria Tapia on May 30, 2008 22:21:29 GMT -5
The young girl's reaction to knowing she wouldn't have been asked was pleasant. Of course, Desideria wouldn't ask someone something if she didn't think they couldn't do it. There were a number of students that would do well with helping her; Andrew Thornton, Seanna Marcellus, Felicity Hjort, Connor Manning, Celina Jedynak, even Charlie Jones would do well in helping others if she concentrated a bit more, but the fact of the matter was she wanted to help those who needed the confidence. Alexander Cronon, he was a chance and one that was turning out rather well, Layla Jimenez, she needed to realize the potential in herself before it was too late to squash out that nasty bug that told her she couldn't do something.
"There shouldn't be one," the woman answered, hoping she wasn't overstepping too many boundaries, not that it ever stopped her before. The potions professor was more than confident the young woman before her could handle it. If at any point she felt things were becoming too much, she could step back, but for now, Desideria felt it was where the young girl needed to be in order to get ahead of the crowd.
"Layla deary," the woman began, "if you ever feel the need to stop, you can. I would just like you to try this out for a bit, see 'ow it works for you. I think it would do you a world of good, but if you feel unable to to perform the tasks, say so." However, if that happened the older woman would be likely to request Layla's presence more often in the dungeons to monitor her progress.
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