`miss wishful thinking,

[Matilda Wentworth]

tag: closed
time: 1am
date: October 23rd < Matty's birthday : P
outfit: click me! < the girl

Matty sighed for the fifth time that minute, turning over to her other side for what seemed to be the fiftieth time that night, her eyes pressing shut again. She hadn't been a heavy sleeper these past few months, and it was hard for the teenager to get back to sleep after waking up during some point in the night. She had been tired when stumbling into the dorm around 11:30pm, flopping into bed, and had fallen into what she had hoped to be a deep sleep until morning. However, within merely forty minutes of slumber, the girl was woken, when she managed to twist herself among her coverer's, to a point where they were smothering her slender figure. And now? Matty lay there, listening to the sixth year dorm creak in it's hollowed body, the beating of her pulse and her heart throbbing in the teenager's ears. She sighed again, before throwing back the plush blankets, and swinging her feet out of bed.

The teenager's lush green eyes flickered to the analogue on her bed side table, and suddenly her stomach seemed to drop. A grin fell onto her soft features, as a newly-turned sixteen year old ran a hand through her hair. Well, she hadn't been expecting to wake up on her birthday exactly like this, but she hadn't been hoping for anything major. Matilda bent down and reached into her chest of drawers and pulled out an over-sized shirt of her brothers. It fit more like a dress on the girl, as she rolled up the sleeves, one past her elbow, the other just before it. She wasn't in a situation to mind at the moment. In fact, despite her 'just out of bed' look, Matty looked rather decent. Her various festival wrist bands and hippie bracelets cluttered her wrists, including the valentines bracelet Emeric had given her last year. She left her feet bare, only on her right ankle where a shell anklet was hanging onto her ankle.

Stepping out of the dorm, Matilda crept down the stairs, preying she wouldn't wake anyone up. As excited as she knew she would be later in the morning, the teen was feeling rather tranquil at this moment in time. She excited the Common Room swiftly, heading a rather familiar lamp-light route to the kitchen. With a tickled pear, the Hufflepuff was free to enter the kitchens, but with so with caution. Her bare feet padded along the stone floor, and her eyes caught site of a couple of house elves sitting over two glasses of water, and a thick recipe book. Matty smiled, recognizing one of the House Elves. "Hey, Angie. It's okay, don't get up, I'm beginning to know my way around here." she said, waving the younger elf down as she rose from her seat. The teenager went and poured herself a glass of fresh milk, while glancing about. It was then that she noticed a big jar, thick with pink and white marshmallows. And that gave the girl an idea. She had loved the game 'chubby bubbies' as a child, and so saw reason why she wasn't permitted to play it these days. Of course, she would be make sure to restock the jar.

Matty grabbed it, before jumping up on the large wooden table in the center of the room. Popping open the lid, the Huffle picked out a plump white marshmallow, and slid it into her cheek. "One chubby bubby." she said with ease, remembering her efforts as a kid to stuff as many marshmallows in her mouth, while keeping up with counting aloud without swallowing, choking, or eating any of the sweets in your mouth. Matilda grabbed a pink marshmallow, placing it into her mouth, and started again. "Two chubby bub-" yet her words were cut off, by the obvious opening of the kitchen door. Uh oh, this was awkward.

[Emeric Troy III]

It had been a long night. In fact, Emeric hadn't really made it to bed at all. The story had begun with Thursday morning... it had had a decent starting, classes had been alright at first. As the day wore on though Emeric noticed a trend... all of the teachers were feeling particularly hostile towards the students in terms of homework amount. He had received at least four assignments on a variety of topics. The common charm ' accio ' and all of its properties, Troll Wars, Egyptian and Roman Wizards, and a list of study questions for Transfiguration classes. Thursday was turning out to be a very bad day. The young Slytherin declined a rendezvous with a couple of friends as he had studying to do. Generally his priority was his social life whether it be his girlfriend or his friends, but with the amount of work that he had been assigned he skipped the socializing and went right ahead with the homework.

Hours after dinner had ended Emeric finally gave in. He wasn't going to finish one of his essays and his study questions were only half done but he could handle that. What he couldn't handle, however, was the hunger that was currently digging at his insides. He slammed his Transfiguration book closed and tossed it aside in the common room, letting it fall behind the black leather couch. He sighed and rubbed his eyes harshly in order to try and wake himself up a bit more. " Alright, then... " He mumbled to himself as he stood up and attempted to remove the wrinkles out of his shirt. Luckily he had had the sensibility to change earlier and he was now wearing a pair of black and green checkered boxers along with a gray t-shirt. He slipped a pair of socks onto his feet and ventured out into the dungeons. It was dimly lit as the way he supposed it would be and he had no trouble in finding the kitchens.

One wiggling and giggling pear later the boy was in the warm welcoming kitchen. Emeric rubbed his eyes once again at the sight that caught him by surprise. He had to surprise a grin as he saw Matilda Wentworth situated atop the large table in the middle of the kitchens. If the boy had been more awake and less shocked he would have made some humorous comment about that, but for the time being all he could do was look at her, trying not to wake the entire castle with his laughter.

" Matty... " He trailed off before a small light went off in his head. " Happy Birthday. " He had almost forgotten.

[Matilda Wentworth]

Matty couldn't have been more surprised, and thrilled at that, when she realized just who it was stepping through that kitchen door at such an early time this morning. She would have grinned at him, if not for the marshmallows stuffed into one of her cheeks. So, when she did smile broadly, the cheek with the sweets in it puffed out, making her look rather obviously ridiculous. The girl was quick to realize this, before she chewed them, and swallowed, a blush creeping onto her cheeks as her boyfriend finally spoke after ceasing from his laughter. Her blush increased even more so when he wished her Happy Birthday - she kept forgetting, not yet having the mind power to acknowledge or connect that she was actually sixteen.

She grinned at him sleepily. "Thanks, Em." the girl said softly, but loud enough for her boyfriend to hear. It was such a coincidence that it happened to be him, of all people, to stumble onto her at such a time and place, that Matty considered it to be along the lines of fate, she supposed. Besides her family, Emeric was the one she had wanted to spend her birthday with. Well, Tianne and Emeric, if Matty got her way. Again this year, she hadn't made plans for her birthday, and insisted on not making a big fuss about it, despite the fact that she was sixteen, and it was a rather big deal. In all honesty, the girl would have been happy with just hanging around with her mates.

The teenager stayed where she was, but she placed her hands on either side of the table, and tilted her head to the side slightly, taking in the boy's clothing, giggling softly at the sight of him all sleepy and dazed, his hair ruffled to a messy extent in a way she didn't see too often. She wouldn't deny it, he looks absolutely adorable in his pajamas, consisting of boxer shorts and a tee shirt. "Whats gotten you up so early, love?" she asked him after a moment, the smile still gracing her face as she looked at the boy.

[Emeric Troy III]

Even after the laughter had finished he couldn't hide the amusement dancing around in his tired eyes. He caught sight of the large jar of marshmallows just to the girls side and nodded his head, as the small question of what was in her mouth had been puzzling for a couple of seconds there. He ran a hand over his hair, attempting to smooth it out a bit. The boy realized it was too late to go change into something more presentable but still wished he had a robe on anyway. He wasn't uncomfortable in front of his girlfriend but when in the presence of Matilda Wentworth he generally tried to look more presentable than his current state. Oh, well... He lifted his right shoulder in a somewhat shrug, figuring it was alright seeing as how Matty seemed to be dressed in her bed things as well.

" You're welcome... " He muttered with a small smile as he made his way over to the table. Upon reaching it he hopped up with surprising grace despite his sleepiness, and scooted over a bit so he was sitting next to Matty. He hadn't missed her looking over of his clothing items and took his time looking her over as well. " Nice shirt. " He reached his hand towards her and lightly pinched the blue fabric between his fingers for emphasis, sending a playful smile her way. He wasn't sure where she had gotten it from, but it certainly wasn't him. Worry didn't register in the boys mind, he merely assumed that it had come from one of her brothers or something innocent such as that. ' Whats gotten you up so early, love? ' The words brought Emeric back to the moment and he shrugged his shoulders once again.

" More like so late. I had a load of homework to do so I haven't been to bed yet... What're you doing up so late or early on your birthday, eh? "

[Matilda Wentworth]

Matty merely smiled over at the boy as he walked over to where she was, before sitting up on the table next to her. She scooted over the space between them, so the sides of their bodies were touching. Her eyes then dropped to his hands, when they reached out and pulled at a bit of the fabric from her shirt. Her green eyes darted up to his chocolate ones, a playful smile matching his own. "I know, right? I accidentally left with it after I spent the night with some gorgeous guy during Summer Break. He's never asked for it back, so it was safe to keep it I assumed." of course she was lying, her grin and eyes made that much obvious. It was Jamie's, and Emeric had probably assumed that by now. Even if he seemed worried after her playful statement, her brother's name was labeled on the tag - he had nothing to worry about.

Glancing back down to his cotton boxers, the teenager played with end of the black and green checked shorts. "Cute pajamas. You should wear them to lessons more often." Matty teased, before taking one of his hands in her own, lacing their fingers together. She looked up to him and smiled again when he explained about being up so late, and future asked her why she was up, or early... or late on her birthday. "Welcome to the life of being an exams student. Don't worry, it gets better. Soon enough you'll be setting your alarm an hour earlier to get that stuff you didn't get done last night in before breakfast, and sometimes, you even get to skip breakie!" she rolled her eyes at the mention of such things. Though it was true, it was a how things had panned out for Matty, at least.

"As for being up early, obviously I just couldn't wait to open my birthday presents. So far," the teenager paused to glance back at the elf's, of whom had disappeared from sight in the kitchen. "This has been the best, and only one." another grin spread onto her young face, as Matilda quirked her head slightly as she looked at Emeric.

[Emeric Troy III]

This would have to be a big advantage of living at school. He could see Matty whenever he wanted to. He didn't have to ask his parents permission to go study with her or to go down to the grounds and hang out, they were free to do what they pleased when they pleased. Living at school also allowed for random occasions such as these to occur. There was absolutely no chance that he could stay up late in the middle of the night, go to the kitchens and find his girlfriend sitting on a table if he had been at home. Well, maybe in a dream, but definitely not in reality. Emeric began to wonder what would happen if Matty did randomly appear at his house in the middle of the night... He didn't think he would mind missing out on sleep too much.

That thought alone brought a grin to fifteen year old's face even as Matty joked about spending the night with some... gorgeous guy. He rearranged his expression to a playful pout, " Looks good on you.... but if you got it from some ' guy, ' can't say I like it too much. " He scrunched his nose up in mock distaste. ' Cute pajamas. You should wear them to lessons more often. ' Em wasn't able to keep up the act after hearing that, his composure broke and he laughed, an easy smile spreading across his face. He glanced down to Matty's fingers playing lightly with the hem of his shorts and then looked back up to meet her green eyes. " We wouldn't want that. Then all the girls would be fawning all over me... See I've got this girlfriend, so it just wouldn't do. "

Emeric had almost forgotten what he had been doing before sitting down here with Matty, but her response quickly reminded him. " Sounds... fun. I'll just be happy when the exams are over and done with. " She had told him that fifth year was the worst and he had believed her, but he didn't know that it would be quite this bad. Maybe seventh was worse, but he didn't know of anyone he would be willing to ask. His thoughts turned back to Matty's words as she spoke once more, her grin causing his lips to lift into a smile. " Really now? " Emeric squeezed her hand in his own as he kissed her gently, hoping that his action would convey how he felt at that moment.

[Matilda Wentworth]

"Looks good on you... but if you got it from some ' guy, ' can't say I like it too much."

Matty watched as Emeric's expression changed from his smile to a playful pout, and couldn't help but 'aww' at the look. He was much too irresistible, that was for sure, these days it was easy for him to win her over with a pout or the likes of such. He had grown on her, to say the least. Not that it was hard to adore someone like him, it had come rather naturally for Matty, that was obvious. But over the past two years, his humor and moods were easier for her to read. Back when they first met, the teenager wasn't sure whether to take some things he said seriously, or as a banter. However the case these days was much simpler, she knew when to separate playing around to a serious matter.

"Stop making faces, it's going to give you wrinkles, sweetie." she insisted, leading him away from that subject, only to concentrate on what he had just said. She bit down on her lip as he laughed, resisted the urge to, and trying to keep her persona serious. After he spoke, it was Matty's turn to pout, as her eyes got caught up in his. "But Emmmm." she protested, whining backing up her tone. "Thats no fair. I'm your girlfriend, I should be allowed to see you in your pajamas more often. Besides, if any of those other girls so much as look at you, I think I'd curse then before they could even say 'wow'." again, she had tried to keep her tone serious, but the pout was ripped by a mischievous smile, as she let out a small laugh at her own corny attempt of being tough. In all honesty, Matty trusted Emeric enough to know that he wouldn't lead on any other girls. The Huflepuff knew he was attractive and gorgeous, and to match he had a great personality and manners to make any girl feel like a princess. He even had the class to match, and in Matty's eyes, he really was the prefect guy. Any faults or imperfections he had previously displayed were easily overlooked, when she concentrated on all his pro's, not that there were any she could think of at the moment anyway.

Giving him a nod as he mentioned about exams being over, she felt his pain. The teen had gone through the same sort of stuff last year, so she could really empathies her boyfriend. With what came next, the girl was somewhat glad the elf's had disappeared for the time being. She wasn't insecure or embarrassed about kissing Emeric in public, but she felt odd around the elf's for some reason. She hadn't ever seen a relationship like such between the creatures, and often wondered if they experienced love like humans did. But all the same, she welcomed the kiss with a smile, looking into his eyes until their lips met. All at once, that same warm feeling of happiness and love spread throughout her body, as she kissed him back tenderly. The girl broke off softly for a moment, gently resting her forehead against his. "I love you," she murmured, a smile having not dropped from her lips, as she pressed them against his once more.

[Emeric Troy III]

Em was thankful for her snide comment as it gave him more reason to laugh. In the middle of the night he felt more at ease with himself somehow. Generally he always felt at ease around Matty, but he felt extremely comfortable for some reason just sitting and laughing with her in the kitchens. " Wrinkles... can't have any of that... I might die. " He didn't take her comment seriously but a rather small part of him acknowledged that she was right. The more predominant part of himself told that part to shut up, as he didn't really care about the joking statement. " Thanks for being concerned though, I rather appreciate it. " He winked at her once with a joking smile of sorts.

' I'm your girlfriend, I should be allowed to see you in your pajamas more often. ' Emeric couldn't hide his grin at that, and while the comment didn't have to do with anything devious or the like his adolescent mind quickly jumped to conclusions, causing him to laugh. " Can't say no to that... " He interjected, interrupting her just slightly. He listened as she continued on, laughing at the appropriate places. Cheeky smile still plastered to his face he responded to her comments. " No need to worry love. You're much prettier than any of those other girls anyway. " He smirked just slightly, knowing he was with the prettiest girl in the entire school. He was indeed very lucky.

The boy's free hand reached up and lightly caressed Matty's cheek, guiding her lips close to his own. His kiss was slow and respectful as he always tried to be with her, but at the same time expressed his feelings of elation. It wasn't luck that had brought them together but Em figured it must had been something powerful. Her words brought a smile to his face as he welcomed the kiss. A few short seconds late though he allowed for some space between them, letting out a small sigh before he looked up with his brown eyes to meet her green ones. " I wish I could show you better how much I love you. " He loved her, he loved her, he loved her, but he wasn't sure he was showing her well enough.

[Matilda Wentworth]

Matty was glad, and amused that Em didn't take her seriously. She doubted he would have, but it was comforting to have him joking around with her all the same. When they first met, the girl had been very aware and cautious when she playing around with his ego and such. Admittedly, she had strayed right away from those types of jabs and pokes, scared that if she provoked him or insulted the boy, that Emeric would probably snap back and refuse to talk to her. Taking that into mind, the teenager mentally kicked her previous self, despite the obvious change in their relationship compared to these days. She liked knowing that he didn't take her seriously if she was to make jest based on his esteem or appearance. After all, she would never seriously insult him.

"You know I'm always looking out for you. I don't want you to die after all, I can't imagine what that would result in." although she said it with the same playing tone and a grin, there really was a serious side to what she was saying. If Em were to die, or even be taken away from Matty, she honestly had no idea how she would cope without him. The fact that they had shared something special for over a year now as one thing, but the fact that he wouldn't be in her life anymore was another. It was as if he left, then half of who she was would be taken away. In all honesty, Matty knew she probably wouldn't cope without him, and therefore, tried to stop thinking about it, not wanting to ruin to the mood by her mind wandering into 'what ifs'.

"I wish I could show you better how much I love you."

As Matty gazed into Emeric's eyes, she felt a bubbly feeling rise in her stomach. It wasn't hunger, nor was it nausea or anything of the sort. It just literally made her feel light she was wait-less, like this could hardly be real. It was amazing what being in love with Emeric Troy could do to you. But she believed him when he said he loved her, because she knew it. The girl reached up her hand to cover Em's, tracing over his thumb with her own. "Em, you do show me how much you love me, whether you realise it or not. It seems that in everything you do, one way or another, you display that. Not any old guy would take me on a skiing trip for our ten month anniversary, or put up with my constant hectic life. Nor do I think I have a strong enough bond with anyone that would lead us to meeting up on my birthday in the kitchens at one in the morning." she paused for a moment to smile at him, placing a small kiss on his lips.

"I don't know what I would do without you."

[Emeric Troy III]

Emeric reached a hand up and played absently with the girl's brown hair, enjoying being close to her while he could. He looked forward to, even cherished, smaller moments such as these ones. The Slytherin boy turned his head just so and merely gazed at Matty. By now he had gotten used to her appearance and personality although both things still never ceased to amaze him for different reasons. She was beautiful even when she was in her pajamas and probably a bit sleep deprived. ' You know I'm always looking out for you. I don't want you to die after all, I can't imagine what that would result in. ' Emeric shook his head and placed a light kiss on the girl's shoulder. He rested against her for a moment, letting out a soft shushing sound. Despite the fact that the comment was meant as a joke he could feel a serious undertone to it and decided to address it with some humor. Straightening himself out he lifted his head up and caught her eyes, a joking smile accompanying his words.

" You would go back to that ' hot ' lad from your summer fling, " He poked her lightly in the side as he talked of her shirt and their former jokings. " And you would have a wonderful time. " A devilish grin appeared on Em's face as he spoke and remained there after, giving his brown eyes a humorous glint to them.

" Hm... " He nestled himself back against Matty's neck, breathing in the scent of her hair as he listened to her talk. As she finished he met her kiss with a small smile. He felt reassured by her words but couldn't help wondering all the same. " I hope I don't have to find out what I would do without you... " He trailed off before responding to what she had just finished up explaining to him. " You're sure? I mean... I don't feel like it's enough sometimes. " He lowered his eyes, leaning back slightly so he could sit for a moment. A second or so passed by and he looked over to catch Matty's gaze. " You're positive? There's nothing I could to make you happier? "

[Matilda Wentworth]

Like Emeric, Matty enjoyed the intimate moments the two shared. It wasn't often that they simply got to sit down and talk like they were now. Generally something would come up, which would lead them to doing something as a couple, not just sitting and talking or joking around. Not to say that the girl didn't love spending time with her boyfriend, whether they were together for an occasion, or bumped into one another and went for a walk around the castle grounds. Or even in classes when they would sit and absorb the lesson, though together, while they made comments about the context or subject matter. But all the same, the small, simple moments in their relationship really were some of the most memorable and beautiful ones.

His words seemed to pry her from her thoughts, though she had been paying attention the whole time anyway, feeling the tickling of him playing with her hair and kissing her shoulder before straightening up. "I suppose that might happen. But if I do recall right, he wasn't hot, he was gorgeous." she teased back, grinning wickedly back at her boyfriend. Matty was glad that he wasn't overly sensitive of such things. But at least it proved that he trusted her, as she did him. Neither of them had ever felt the need to doll out reasons why they would never do such a thing as have a summer fling with another person, because in reality, they wouldn't.

With Em tucked in under her neck, the teenager felt even more so at ease, and comforted by this gesture. When he moved again to respond to her words, the girl watched him closely. She didn't find it at all frustrating that he didn't seem totally convinced that he did enough for her, that he wanted to prove his love more. This, however, only made Matty realize how much she really had fallen for him, but there wasn't a problem there in her mind. Eyes still on Emeric, Matty reached up a hand so her fingers fell on his neck, her thumb gently stroking his cheek. "I'm not going anywhere anytime soon." she paused for a moment to let her words sink in. "You have the ability to make me happier than anyone ever has before. No amount of trips, or gifts, or parties or anything could change that. Just as long as I have you in here," she removed the hand from his cheek, to pick up his hand, putting it over her heart. "I'm the happiest girl in the world when I'm with you."

[Emeric Troy III]

Em chuckled, correcting himself. " Right, sorry. Gorgeous then. " The Irish boy's mischevious smile expressed his joking nature on the matter. While it would have made him uncomfortable if they had been serious in their discussions he knew the conversation was in jest. Trust wasn't easy to come by in Em's world, and as he only had a few friends he felt he was lucky to have Matty, whom he trusted a lot.

The fifth year bit down lightly on his lip as he gazed into her green eyes. He believed her, but at the same time... wasn't that what she was supposed to say? She was his girlfriend, so she of course wanted to make him happy. In correspondence to her thumb trailing lightly on his cheeck he leaned towards her a bit more, yearning for the physical contact but also wanting to listen to her words while she spoke to him. His eyes followed his hand as she replaced it over her chest, where her heart would be. He swore he could feel it, light sounds of her heart beating. For him? He had to believe it.

" Okay... " His eyes dropped down for a few seconds to the table they were sitting on before moving back up to Matty. " I just don't want to fail you. " He could get through school, the social gatherings, even his parents - as long as he had Matty with him.

[Matilda Wentworth]

"Thanks, much better." Matty grinned back at Emeric, her eyes dancing in playful means. She took a quick glance back down to the shirt she was wearing, playing with the fabric on the bottom with the ends of her fingertips. It was made of cotton, soft yet light. She remembered having saw Jamie wearing it a few times around the house. He didn't wear it too often, so she didn't feel bad when letting it 'slip' into her suitcase before the trip back to Hogwarts came about. It reminded her of home, of thins familiar and warm. And yet, one of the many, yet the strongest reason Hogwarts felt like home sat right in front of her. Em was one of the reasons she stayed. Not that she would leave, but if given the choice, as long as the Slytherin was here with her, she'd stay for him. It made the girl slide over the looming fact that she was going to have to go a year without the boy, something Matty was dreading, and actually wished she could bring it up with Em to talk about, despite the fact that they both found it uncomfortable.

Looking back up at her boyfriend now, she saw his eyes drop for a moment as he seemed to gather his thoughts. The brief realization of her not being around in about two years time was far off, but it was still there. Tomorrow was her last year. Last year for Hufflepuff to win the Quidditch Cup under her names, last chance for her to be part of the house if they won the House cup. Last chance for her to make friends inside Hogwarts, and deal with the life of being a teenager. Next year she was seventeen, old enough to do magic and make her own decisions. But old enough to live a year without having the ability to see Emeric every day? Matty honestly hated the idea of that. She didn't want to lose him like that, she couldn't.

As his eyes looked back up again, only seconds after they had dropped, the girl squeezed Em's hand, still against her chest. She felt her words rising, but they were caught in her throat, while she couldn't shake the thought of losing him after her seventh year. It took her a few moments to blink away the sudden increase of water in her eyes, as she dropped both their hands, and began to gently play with the Slytherin's fingers, weaving them in and out of her own. Concentrating on her hands playing with his, Matty finally built up the strength to speak. "You could never fail me, Em. Theres nothing you could do to make that happen." she managed a smile, before leaning stealing a glance at her boyfriend, and leaning over and placing a soft and brief kiss on his lips. "What about me, though? You're the person I care about the most, and you take such good care of me... But I don't know if I do a very good job of making you happy..." she trailed off slowly, before dropping her gaze back to their entwined hands..

[Emeric Troy III]

Em's eyes rested on their hands, fingers intertwined lovingly. It was nice, and a soft smile brightened his face slightly. He wasn't sure where all of these insecurities were coming from... Well he knew, he just didn't know he was going to be sharing them so soon. They were somewhat recent in his mind with everything else going on and it generally took him a while to think about his issues before he took them to anyone, even Matty. It wasn't something he thought consciously on, it was just that Em was naturally closed off as it was, so it took some time for his problems to register in his mind, let alone that he should say something about them. He looked back up to catch Matty's eyes but saw the lush green clouded by tears. He felt awful for making her cry and tried to fix it quickly.

" Aw, Matty, don't cry love. I didn't mean anything by it... " He silenced himself as she began talking. He welcomed the kiss, but still wished he hadn't brought tears to her eyes at all. A small frown held his lips as she continued aloud with her thoughts. " Shh... you make me so happy, I can't even... " He paused, suddenly taken over by emotion. He wasn't used to it, so it took him by surprise. " I didn't even know what being happy meant before I met you. " He hoped she would know he meant it with everything he had.

[Matilda Wentworth]

"I didn't even know what being happy meant before I met you."

Matty couldn't help but let her lips form a smile, as she hiccuped a giggle, before sniffing slightly and looking up to him. Her eyes got caught in his own, and the teenager immediately felt bad for making him think that he had been the cause of this. She saw the nervous and worried look in his eyes, the frown turned upon his lips. He meant everything to her. She shook her head slightly, regaining her composure as Matty sighed deeply as the tears faded from her eyes. She still felt awful, and knew that she had to clear up the reason for almost crying.

"It wasn't you, Em. You've never made me cry, and it's not about that. Its just..." she turned his hand over in her own again, glancing down briefly to word what she wanted to say right, in order to not bring up the tears again. "It's just all of this talk about being enough for each other. I feel as if we're meant to be together, for now, at the very least. But what happens after next year? I can barely stand the thought of going without you for a year without crying, let alone accepting the fact that it is going to happen. And I wish I could just put it off and deal with it later but... But I don't want to wait until it's too late and loose you."

With the sudden rush of emotion, Matty let go of her boyfriends' hand, and slid over to hug herself against his strong body. Without Emeric around, who was going to make her smile like he did? Who was going to be there to send her small notes during her day, or spend time with her on the weekends after a hard week of school? He wouldn't be there to meet her in the kitchens for her birthday, and she wouldn't be there to plan him surprise picnics for their dates. She would be missing out on their love, and it scared the heck out of her.