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Post by Felicity Hjort on May 15, 2007 23:33:13 GMT -5
"Pull what?" she returned in the same manner, not bothering to back away. Why did he feel the need to confuse her so much? And there it was, got him to fall for her? Made him believe she liked him? What did she win? In her opinion it was the opposite way around, he had gotten her to fall for him. He had made her believe him. "I have no idea what you're talking about. You think this is a game? That I won something? Am I really that gullible that you think you can make me believe I won something? Is it a prize to have you hate me?"
Ferociously blinking back any tears, she wasn't going to cry, the blond was too angry to cry. "If that's a prize I don't want to play you're game anymore. I'm sick and tired of of it." Standing up straight, she grabbed the book off of the table and looked at him one last time. "You won Drew. I'm gone. You don't want me around you, fine. You could've saved us both a lot of trouble by telling me that in the first place."
Stepping back, she turned on her heel, but looked over her shoulder. "And just so you know, I did fall for you. It wasn't a game for me, and it really hurts that you of all people would do that to me."
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Drew Thornton
Ministry of Magic
Auror-in-Training
I didn't do it and you can't prove otherwise...
Posts: 14,114
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Post by Drew Thornton on May 16, 2007 0:13:44 GMT -5
She was leaving and suddenly all that mattered was that she stay. Yes, he was mad and yes, she hated him, but maybe, still maybe...
Half of him was saying he was a fool for letting her go, arguing with the other half that said he was a fool for wanting to try. He knew he was grasping at straws, but he didn't care. It had been that tell-tale glistening in her eyes that had decided it.
He reached out and grabbed her hand, keeping her from going, pulling her back towards him. "What? What did I do to you?" he asked, looking in her eyes. He knew what Celina said he had done, but he wanted to hear it from Felicity.
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Post by Felicity Hjort on May 16, 2007 0:33:41 GMT -5
Just as she was about to step away, she felt it, the all too familiar feeling of his warm hand in hers pulling her back to him. If he wanted her to leave why did he force her to stay? Why did he keep confusing her so badly? Was it that humorous?
How was she supposed to answer that question? He'd confused her, then hurt her by lying to her. Why did she have to tell him when he already knew what he did? There were to be no tears this time, she'd already cried over him too many times by that point, she wasn't going to cry because of him again. Just looking into his blue eyes she felt it all over, how could he make her feel that way when she was so angry? And angry with him to top it off.
"You hurt me," she said quietly, staring into his eyes. She wanted to see every reaction he had to her words. "You hurt me by lying to me. If you don't like me all you had to do was say you didn't. You didn't have to tell me you did because I told you I liked you. I can handle not having someone like me, no matter how much I like them. I don't need to be sheltered from the truth, Drew."
While her parents might have disagreed, she knew she didn't need to be. The blond was fifteen years old, and while she might never have before felt the way she did around the Ravenclaw it didn't mean she couldn't handle being rejected. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything I didn't do and should have, I'm sorry for everything I did do and shouldn't have. Just let me get out of your life like you want."
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Drew Thornton
Ministry of Magic
Auror-in-Training
I didn't do it and you can't prove otherwise...
Posts: 14,114
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Post by Drew Thornton on May 16, 2007 0:46:35 GMT -5
He kept hold of her hand and looked into her brown eyes, searching for any inkling that she was up to old tricks again, trying to prolong her games. If she was, he couldn't see it. Was she that good of an actress? Did he dare to actually believe her again?
"I never...never lied to you," he insisted. If there had been an outright lie, it had been so minor that he didn't even remember it. In fact, he had gone out of his way not to lie to her and had tried his best not to even do those little omissions of truth that he was so good at. "I don't want you gone. I never wanted you out of my life." Even if he had to settle for friends, he could deal with that.
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Post by Felicity Hjort on May 16, 2007 1:52:08 GMT -5
Felicity looked down at him, wanting to believe what he said to her. It was the way he said it, the look on his face, in his eyes. If he hadn't lied to her, then why did he confuse her? The confusion was almost worse than the pain she felt. Everything in his eyes was telling her what she wanted, but was it really what he wanted?
For the second time he told her he didn't want her to go; that morning at the lake he'd said it, and just now. If he didn't want her to leave why would he just keep confusing her? No, she wasn't going to let herself fall into that again, she wasn't going to fall into the cold, hard trap that he had laid for her once. She wasn't going to let the confusion get her again. Felicity had already made her conclusions, that it was her fault, that she had been the one to ruin everything. She had said some really dumb things, she had believed he meant something by doing one little thing that was absolutely harmless, she had made him mad at her. The Gryffindor made the conclusion herself, ignoring everything anyone else had told her, he hated her. There was no doubt in her mind.
"How could you want me in your life?" It was a fair question, after everything she had done, everything she herself had ruined and messed up, how could he want her around? He hated her, didn't he?
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Drew Thornton
Ministry of Magic
Auror-in-Training
I didn't do it and you can't prove otherwise...
Posts: 14,114
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Post by Drew Thornton on May 16, 2007 12:26:27 GMT -5
It was a good question and one he really wasn't sure how to answer. If she had asked why, that would have been easier. She was smart and funny and clever, a darn good cook, and awfully nice to look at. She had a smile that he found infectious and gave him that pretty cool roller coaster feeling in his stomach when she was around.
But how? He didn't know. She had confused him and frustrated him and accused him of the most awful things he could think of. She had hurt his reputation, hurt his pride and hurt his feelings. How could he want someone like that?
But despite all that, he knew he did. The how didn't matter when the why seemed so much more important at the moment.
"How can I not?" he asked, still looking at her. He had a feeling it was all going to bite him in the butt big time, but he didn't care.
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Post by Felicity Hjort on May 16, 2007 17:58:34 GMT -5
On the verge of tears, she looked down at him. Why did he keep doing that; why did he keep setting up that sticky web of confusion that she was sure to fall into? He knew she would fall for it, she had already and was bound to do so again. He had just told her he didn't lie to her, and if that was true did that mean he liked her? And if he did, what did that mean, other than she had messed everything up as it was obvious he was angry with her. Truth would have been nice, and if he was telling her the truth, that he really did want her in his life, was it going to be hard to be around him when she couldn't tell what he wanted?
He didn't want her to be herself, he'd made it clear, but he didn't want her not to be herself either, that had also been clear out at the lake. If he wanted her around him, even as only an aquaintance, she needed to know straight out. He couldn't lead her around in circles any longer, he needed to tell her. The blond didn't like feeling confused, she didn't want to hurt anymore, if he wanted her around she wasn't going to let him continue it.
There was no answer for his question on her behalf, it was something only he could answer, she wasn't even going to attempt it. But he had asked her one question in particular that she wanted to return, and it was the perfect opportunity to do so. "Drew, I can't answer that. You're the only one who can explain it to another," she stated looking right into his eyes. "And if you want me in it, then I will be. I want to be. But what do you want from me?"
It was a fair question, and about time he answered it. She'd done her bit, given him he answer, she wanted him, even if it was just his friendship she'd take it. But she needed to know what he wanted from her, what he expected. And expectations were to be made known right then, because she didn't want to mess up again.
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Drew Thornton
Ministry of Magic
Auror-in-Training
I didn't do it and you can't prove otherwise...
Posts: 14,114
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Post by Drew Thornton on May 16, 2007 20:00:57 GMT -5
It was another tough question. He had just started figuring out that he wanted to be with her, but that cynical little voice in the back of his head was warning him not to give her so much so quickly.
"What do I want?" he echoed back, bying a little time so he could get that stupid little voice to shut up. "I want you to be okay with taking things slow. I want to be able to put my arm around you without you freaking out. I want you to stop telling me one thing one minute and then something totally different the next. And if I can't have that, I want to at least hang out with you every once in a while."
Okay, so he did that omission thing again, but he had still meant every word of what he had said.
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Post by Felicity Hjort on May 16, 2007 20:26:23 GMT -5
Nodding her head slowly, as last time she'd gotten into a nod fest she'd made herself extremely dizzy, she didn't take her eyes off of him. Slow she could do, she was willing to do, she'd already said she would wait for him and that was taking things rather slow, wasn't it? His second request was just as understandable, she'd already decided she'd put too much thought into what it had meant, but at the time it had made sense to her. In fact, she was rather pleased about his second request, she could go through with it.
However, his third request didn't do anything to cool the little anger she still felt. He wanted her to stop that? What about him? He had done it, she hadn't said anything! She hadn't contradicted what she told him like he had with her. Immediately she told herself to stop, if she wanted what he was telling her he wanted, she couldn't do something dumb. "All right," she said slowly, forcing herself to remain calmer than she felt about what he said. "But you have to do the same. I want you to stop telling me one thing one minute and then changing your mind the next."
Mostly she was referring to the fact that he'd told her he wanted her to be herself, and then got mad at her for doing so. "And you have it," she added. As long as he would comply, she would because she didn't want to only hang out with him once in while. His friendship was important to her and she didn't want to let it wear thin by not seeing him often, and it was a bonus to her stomach if she got to see him often.
The Gryffindor wouldn't have minded wrapping her arms around his neck at that moment, just to show him her sincerity with what she'd said, but she didn't know how slow he wanted things to go, and she didn't want to mess things up already. And last time she tried doing that, things hadn't gone very well.
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Drew Thornton
Ministry of Magic
Auror-in-Training
I didn't do it and you can't prove otherwise...
Posts: 14,114
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Post by Drew Thornton on May 16, 2007 21:24:29 GMT -5
Okay, so things were sounding good and that little nagging voice, while still warning him, had been reduced to a low buzz that was much easier to ignore. And thery were talking, not yelling at each other or getting frustrated. Yep, this was good.
"When did I do that?" he asked back. As far as he could tell, he had been pretty consistent. There had been that whole arm up and down thing by the lake, but that had only been from trying to figure out what she wanted.
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Post by Felicity Hjort on May 16, 2007 21:36:25 GMT -5
Remain calm she once more told herself. He wanted to know, and yet she hadn't even bothered asking when she had done it. "When we were outside you told me you wanted me to be me. To be normal," she said. No, it wasn't the same words he had used, but it was what he had meant. "When I had tried before you told me that, you kept pushing me away. And when I came over here to get your help you didn't like it when I was being myself either."
Of course she knew it was most likely because he was mad at her, but she was merely trying to do what he wanted and he had once more shut her down.
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Drew Thornton
Ministry of Magic
Auror-in-Training
I didn't do it and you can't prove otherwise...
Posts: 14,114
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Post by Drew Thornton on May 16, 2007 21:59:40 GMT -5
He didn't remember ever saying that, but he wasn't going to argue that particular point. When it came down to it, he did want her to be herself. He liked her best that way.
"I was angry and upset," he told her quietly. He'd get to the bottom of the reasons later, but for now, he wanted to focus on getting her to understand. "I was confused with what you were doing and I got frustrated. I needed some time to cool off. I'm sorry if I upset you."
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Post by Felicity Hjort on May 16, 2007 22:13:37 GMT -5
He was confused at what she was doing? Closing her eyes, she turned her head to the side, telling herself to breathe. The blond didn't care for having to command herself to do something, especially when she was getting more and more frustrated. She understood what he was saying, but what did she really do? She had only tried doing something he had prompted from her to begin with, and then it hadn't gone very well.
Rather than saying anything, she looked back at him. It was best to just remain silent at this point.
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Drew Thornton
Ministry of Magic
Auror-in-Training
I didn't do it and you can't prove otherwise...
Posts: 14,114
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Post by Drew Thornton on May 16, 2007 22:25:03 GMT -5
He watched her carefully and felt the confusion rising again. Yep, this is what happened when he started talking about his feelings, wasn't it? Someone got mad. He was an idiot for even trying. What made it worse was he didn't even know why she was getting mad at him.
"What?" he asked, doing his best not to get frustrated. They'd get no where if they both were upset.
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Post by Felicity Hjort on May 16, 2007 22:39:42 GMT -5
"Nothing," she mumbled, then changed her mind. "No, not nothing. I don't understand," she said quietly. She didn't want to be frustrated or mad or confused, she just wanted to know, to understand. "What did I do that was confusing? I was just doing what you had tried and then you got mad at me."
Being tired of looking down at him as it made he feel weird, as though she was being condenscending, she pulled her hand from his (assuming he was still holding hers) and pulled the chair she'd been previously sitting in closer to him. Sitting down, she reached out for his hand again, she liked holding it, it was warm and comforting and she believed it was helping her to remain a bit calmer.
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