It's Not Always Happily Ever After (DON'T ARCHIVE)

[Tamis Raynor]

There was always too much happening in Tamis Raynor's life for her to dare look outside of its perimeters. If its not the baby, its the students, if its not the students, its the staff, and if its not the staff, its the Ministry. Lately, all four of those had attacked her at once. In the past three weeks alone, she had come close to being arrested herself twice. The only saving grace in that relationship was that Walmsley had started it and she had simply finished it. And... she had some very good connections with the Law Enforcement Department (some of which had been happy to see the other put in her place for once).

It was absurd. Of all people to ever be suspected of having an Elevens was relationship, Robert was the last of them. She had told Cody that, and what irked her was that he had not listened. Some preposterous business about being blinded by her friendship with the man. Well, even a blind fool could see Shaw was not an Eleven, nor ever would be.

Hogwarts had thrown the door in the Ministry's face, and why they could not override the 'arrest', they had still kept Robert on the payroll and had not reopened the job for applications. They had assured him that they would not. Even if it started a political war. But parental complaints had increased tenfold when they realized Shaw was still in the school. Tamis now began to fear how he was holding up.

This more than anything else lead her to wrapping firmly on his office door late in the night. Showing up in dressing gown and fluffy bunny slippers no less. Thank Merlin students were abed at this hour, they had been a gift from Banks (more like a practical joke) and it was doubtful any of them would let her live them down.

Another tap. Nothing.

Compressing her lips, she shoved the door open -- half the office was gone. Dust-paths on the walls ghosted the presence of pictures and hangings. The shelves were much more bare than she could ever recall and she had a strong feeling that if she pulled open a desk draw, she would find them bare. Boxes were piled on the desks, a few luggage bags lined up against the walls.

Raynor remained in the doorway dumbstruck. Her hair, still wet from her not-too-long-ago shower beginning to dampen the shoulders of her dressing gown.

[Robert Shaw]

He wasn't sure what time it was and quite frankly he didn't care. Having stopped looking at clocks days ago, the time only adding to the droning onward of this slowly ticking Hell. Even though he was only suspended, even though it was only suspicion,he was still ruined as a man. As long as he was here, within these walls Hogwarts would be the target of both mail and voice, and quite possibly more so on the Hogsmeade affairs.

Robert couldn't risk that, he wouldn't let the school's reputation be drug through the mud because they wanted to defend him. For the Greater Good indeed. So, it was early in the morning he'd begun this venture. Packing on a cup of black coffee and all the positive energy he could muster to convince himself this was right, he found himself completed by the noontime hours.

He'd show up for lunch, and taken his respective seat as Herbology Professor, suspended or not. But it was all a front. From there he'd gone to the greenhouses and stayed there till well past dark, about fifteen minutes prior actually. It was the only place he really could go without being pounced on, mainly because he locked the doors.

And so here he was, wandering the first floor on his way back to his office expecting to find it as untouched as every other time. No one bothered to come to him much spar the Prophet, and he'd left a specific note for them. However when he rounded the corner only to find both his door ajar, and a familiar figure in the door, everything crashed down. The letter would have been on hboth hers and Ticloon's desk in the morning. Apparently fate felt it to be otherwise rushed.

"You would have found it vacated by tomorrow evening." Robert's voice echoed up the hall, by this point no longer caring who might be lurking, staff, student, or ottherwise, in the shadows nearby. He was done, there was nothing more to be said. However he supposed he owed at least the Deputy an explanation, they did go back long enough for her to deserve it.

[Tamis Raynor]

At the resilient sound of Shaw's familiar voice echoing down the hall, Raynor nearly jumped out of those fluffy slippers. He was striding up from one end of the hallway, she only glanced at him a moment before letting the gray of her eyes be drawn back to the office within. His words struck home, a giant gong that was necessary, but really was not. Perhaps a part of her had expected this. Maybe this was what had dragged her out of bed at this late hour.

But it was not a surprise.

No one could truly ask Shaw to remain at the school after all of this. When it came down to it, Tamis really just didn't want him to go. There were few things that connected her to her past that were happy. Most of it she had tossed aside and started anew. But Robert Shaw was one of those happy memories, memories from her school days. A friend and a pranking partner on the surface, but a foundation that had kept her whom she became today on a deeper. Childhood warmth seemed to come back with him at Hogwarts, even though time had frayed and built a wall around the friendship.

"Looks like I would have," she responded simply. She didn't trust herself to say more. Raynor stepped into the office, crossed her arms and swept over everything once more. Her head bobbed up and down slowly, as delayed as her tone. "So. This is it, then. You're just going to up and leave as soon as things look dodgy? It’s a bad habit."

The words most certainly could have held a bit. As a matter of fact, they meant to. But Tamis was not looking for an argument. It was a cold blow, but one delivered with the knowledge that she probably could not change the facts. There were a lot of feelings running though her brain. Anger. Frustration. Irritation. But acceptance was sadly one of them. She just wasn’t willing to admit that yet.

[Robert Shaw]

What was there to say, what could he say? In the long run it was all he would have left, the words he'd said, the ones he couldn't say. It was all he really had of his memories here, well, that and the echoing voice of one Argus Filch cursing him to the maximum security of Azkaban. But that was another matter, or perhaps it was a foreshadowing to this very moment. Only Merlin, and quite possibly not even he, knew what was going on at the present time.

"I'm sorry." The man began, the first two words anyone would muster in this situation or any similar. "But I won't allow this school's reputation to be drug through the slime due to false persecution of my name and my record. If they want me that badly then by Merlin they can take me, but I will NOT let them take this school with me. If I'm not here, there's less of a reason for them to be as well. I can rebuild my reputation, as well as my life, if this school, this hall of memories for so many, closes agin. It will not be re-opened, and I do not wish to have an unintended hand in contributing to that."

It was hard to explain really, how he felt, why. There were so many unanswered questions, where he would go, what he would do, so many questions he lacked answers to. Answers he was honestly afraid to find out. It was hard to believe that just over a year after his return, he was leaving the halls again....but it was a different feeling this time. There was, no joy, no happiness, no promises to keep in touch or reunion vows. It was differrent feeling. A depressing feeling. A feeling he wished he didn't have.

"I'd invite you in, but there's not much left to see." There wasn't much worth seeing. The outlines of dust would only serve as a level of expectation, the note he'd left carved into the centre drawer, a request on his behalf. He had no idea whom would take his place, nor how qualified they would be, all he could do was hope for the best....

And walk off into the Valley of the Shadow.

[Tamis Raynor]

In any other instance, she might have commended him for bravery. Might have jested that he was showing more of an underlying lion than the heart of an eagle. But this was not any other instance. So that was the heart of it. He was tucking his tail between his legs and running. No, perhaps not an underlying courage after all; but rather a hiding cowardice.

He was just going to back his bags and take off, just like that. Perhaps the results of such were not as blatantly obvious to one whom had not worked with Law Enforcement. How, doing just that, that running, would only make him look more guilty than he already did. The man did not look guilty. There was no viable proof. But if he were to run like this, they would not need it. The innocent did not simply take off. If it was just leaving the school, Raynor could live with it. Such, however, was beyond Robert's nature.

This was ridiculous and bombastically foolish besides. And the only condolence that the man could offer was that he was sorry. What message would this pass onto the students? What. She took a deep calming breath. The students would not understand. But that could be dealt with. Raynor understood his reasoning behind all of this, yes, but it was so damn foolhardy. And she really needed to express that.

"Codswallop," she half spluttered half gritted out the word.

Rational calm was rapidly evaporating and she stomped a fuzzy slippered foot to vent her accumulating frustration. Damp hair slapped against her face and continued to sodden the shoulders of her dressing gown as she shifted, turned in a circle, anything to regain slipping control. It took every ounce of self control to keep from taking fists full of soaked hair. She tucked her arms in font of her again as if to physically ward off such a blatant sign of her emotions.

Stop pacing. A few deep breaths. And continue.

"That is absolute and complete rubbish, Robert." She continued much steadier. Do you_you honestly think that you will be doing this school any good by leaving in this way? The Ministry is going to sit back with their smug little grins and try and bully the school if they get their way. You are handing them what they want. Playing right into their palms. You --"

With an in take of breath, she cut herself off, the ears of a bunny flopping up and down as her left foot served as an outlet for all of her built up emotion.

"Its late." She concluded. "You have been under a lot of pressure of late. Sleep on it, Robert. Just consider all of what this can do. Not just to the school, but to you as well. You're not thinking rationally."

It was as if saying it would make it true.

[Robert Shaw]

Consider it, mull it over, think of the ramifications of what you're doing. Yes, they all said quite the same thing, and it was downright good advice given the circumstances surrounding this clouded fog of the mind, but there was just one problem. He'd already considered, already thought of what he was doing. No matter how cowardly, foolish, plain stupid it seemed there was still one fact that held true. It was all able to be rebuilt.

Besides that, the woman was assuming. He wasn't going to vanish to the hills like Black or Hilridge, or use polyjuice potions like Morelle, he wasn't going to try to hide at all. He was merely going to refocus the eye of the hunter. For her to compare him, even if unintentionally and indirectly to a criminal hurt more than the cowardice he was showing.

"Do you really think so little of me that I'll run into the Underground and hide like a mouse from an alley cat? No. No I won't hide, I won't run, but I won't stay here and let me unintentionally play their puppet. Not while this school still has a future." The tension in the hallways was probably defying both gravity and physics at its present level.

The botanist walked into the now seemingly large office and over to the window, solemn and silent words and apologies that needed not be said emanating form somewhere within him. The view was as it always had been. Grass, flowers, moonlight and a distant tree-line with a greenhouse thrown somewhere in among it all. For some reason, like a fire, it left a better impression in the nighttime hours. A glimmer of hope, in a darkened world.

"I'm not giving anything up, nor admitting defeat I'm simply leaving them with one less card in their hand."

[Tamis Raynor]

((Reviving this thread. As Shaw has been pestering me for a while now, its too important to leave unfinished.))

"Or handing them another," she snapped back.

It took every meager ounce of self control not to stop over to the man and box his ears. The picture stewed quite temptingly in the Deputy's head for a long moment as Shaw turned his back on her. This was a battle that Raynor was swiftly loosing. She did not like to loose. Never had. It was irritating to feel her control over the situation vaporize before she could even grasp it.

The flinch that crossed Raynor's face could not have been more defined if he had turned around and physically done what she imagined doing herself. No. She didn't think so little of him. While they had not been the closest of friends, Tamis held a certain amount of respect for the wizard before her. Had to. Or she would not have been friends with him at all.

"You're being more so their puppet by leaving," she stated as evenly as possible. "Its exactly what they wanted you to do." She flung another wet strain of hair from her shoulders. For all of the sudden show of regained composure those bunny ears were slapping the wood with painful force.

"But its your life, Robert. I'm just an employer. If you want to leave, leave. In doing so you are just giving them more conviction that you are guilty, but I can't tell you what you can and cannot do."

There was another moment of uncomfortable silence. The strength of it burned at the back of her throat. In her head she knew this was the right choice, but her heart kept shoving her in the other direction. Raynor had put so much conviction into trying to prove Shaw's innocence by keeping him on the roll. But to have him personally shun her efforts ... it hurt.

Then, resigned, almost as a whisper, "just don't expect me to be the one to explain this to the students. I won't clean up your mess, Robert."

[Robert Shaw]

It was as he figured, she felt she could read him, understand all of why he was doing this, when infact she only knew half of what lay beneath the surface. That second half, those other reasons were indivulgable, and as much as he wanted to disclose them to her, he couldn't. Her obligations and aliegences simply wouldn't allow her to hold the same respect for him, it was best she see him go as a leader, instead of a traitor.

"Tamis. I love this school, I always have, and always will and the memories I have of it both then and now will never fade, and I appreciate all you've done, all the School has done to maintain my innocence in this matter, however in protecting me you are ruining them. And I am certain that what I do is better for the long run." The man said, turning to face her once more, he couldn't hide his face through this. If there was one thing he wanted her to see, it was that his motives were sound.

"I'll tell the students myself, each of them respectfully in their classes, one by one in this very office if I must. But please try to see this from my perspective. As long as I am here, they will not relinquish a single scrap of hold on this school. In fact they'll push for more, try more, and eventually we'll have another year like that of Umbridge in 1996, now answer me truthfully, do you REALLY want another fiasco like that in these halls? Can Hogwarts really afford that again? I'm sorry Tamis, I really am, but this is the only way I see it can go."