Heavy Badge.

[seanna]

(a week or two after the takeover)

During the takeover and since the takeover, Seanna had been wondering if she was cut out for being one half of a Hufflepuff Prefect. The badge it's self had been feeling heavy when she had put it on and the thought that was constantly running around her head was one of that she didn't think she had earned it or deserved it. The sixth year had been considering giving it back to her HOH to put someone more capable in the position that wouldn't panic in a time of need.

During the takeover she hadn't done much to help, had panicked and she really didn't think she had done a good job of protecting the younger Huffle's in her presence. In her mind a prefect was supposed to be counted on in times of emergencies, supposed to stay strong when needed and instead of staying strong, she had nearly crumbled. Nearly. It had taken all of her willpower to stay strong and she had convinced herself towards the end that she shouldn't feel scared and everything was going to be all right.

Since then, though, the same thoughts and insecurities of not deserving the badge had been back in her head and she couldn't shake them off. Seanna hadn't mentioned any of this to Krissy, she didn't want her friend to worry so she decided to come to the only person that could possibly help her with her dilemma. The sixth year had only met her HOH twice since she had been back and he seemed a little crazy... then again, craziness was a requirement for being a Huffle and Seanna needed to talk to someone. Knocking quietly on the door, Seanna pushed it slightly open, wondering if her HOH was even there.

[marvin]

Marvin's mind had been somewhere else since the takover. The whole situation had been rather much of an eye opener for him. He had realised that he had no-one on the outside world who would have cared if anything had happened to him. His eyes glanced upon the photo which he withheld in his hand. It was of a woman, one he had known once upon a time, before he began to teach at Hogwarts. The woman waved happily from the photo. However something brought him out of his mindless thinking, back to the plain office in which he sat.

There was a quiet knocking at hid door and then it began to open. "I would entice you to enter but it seem's you decided to without my invitation" Marvin said politely with a joking tone to the blonde prefect who was currently entering into his office. He gave her a warm smile. There had been a couple students since the deav infiltration who had come to see him. Some for moal support, some for information, others just because they thouht he may be able to help. Each one he had given as much support as he possibly could. However it had been as bad for the professors as it had for the students and he was mighty proud of the students for their actions and their escape plans which they had infiltrated. He had found it difficult to help during the take over because of his lack of wand, however he had consoled younger students where necessay and tried to keep them all out of trouble. Marvin hasilty stuffed the photo back into the top desk of his drawer. He would put it back in its regular place later on.

He had not seen much of his prefects, or his rather troublesome, yet useful head girl which still seemed to dislike his presence complerely. Yet none of it mattered, he knew all of them had had rather a rough time during the take over, as they were the ones looking after the students. However he wasn't surprised to see Seanna, of the three of them, she was the one of them he would expect to come visit him the most. Yet for what reasons he did not yet know. "So what do owe for the pleasure of this visit?" Marvin asked politely to Seanna with a calm smile, indicating to the chair on the other side of his desk. "Would you like a drink?" he asked, giving his wand a slight wave and conjuring a couple bottles of butterbeer.

[seanna]

Seanna raised her eyebrow as she heard the voice and pushed the door open even further to her HOH's office. So he was here. That was a surprise even to her. Seanna was sure she would off have to turn around on her heel and make her way back to the common room and sort out her own feelings there. Seanna had tried that and nothing had ever come off it, so she stepped into the room and took the nearest vacant chair across from Professor Atwood.

"I don't... I think... " Seanna stopped her mumblings and looked at the drinks that her Professor had just conjured up and she shook her head slightly. One never knew what could be in the drinks and all though she trusted Atwood, her own fear of being giving the truth serum won out. There were some things that she just couldn't tell someone and she wanted to keep it that way. Even though the secrets inside her churned around her stomach like butter.

"I don't think I deserve this badge" Seanna said bluntly. Might as well just come out with it now, right? Seanna was never one to beat around the bush, anyhow. Unpinning the badge from her yellow shirt, she dropped it onto Atwood's desk unceremoniously and she allowed her brown eyes to look at the blank wall behind his head, just noticing now that he didn't have a hat on.

[marvin]

Marvin watched as the blonde prefect mumbeled a few things then shook her head to the offer of drinks. She wouldn't be the first one not to completely trust him, nor to not accept one of his drinks, however, he himself leaned over the desk and picked one up, uncorking it almost instantly. He however left the other drink there, nor did he drink his just yet. As the girls words continued Marvin frowned slightly. Self doubt was alot like poisen, kept inside it would course through your body making you weaker as time went by, it seemed to be doing the same to his prefect.

"Now what would make you feel like that Seanna" Marvin asking, surveying her from accross the desk. "You would not have been given the badge if you weren't seen as able to handle it." Marvin took his eyes from the girl for a moment as he took a drink from his bottle of butterbeer. His voice was calm and soft, not acusatory or disappointed. Were the girl sure of the decision to get rid of the badge she would not have said 'think' it meant she wasn't sure and Marvin knew she was more then capable of handeling the responsibilities of being a prefect. He may not have seen her very often, but he had watched her tend to the younger students and keep many of them out of trouble. She deserved that badge more then many.

[seanna]

"Prefect's are supposed to be there to protect, right? there supposed to stay strong, right?" Seanna felt disgusted with herself as she listened the words that were pouring out of her mouth. The girl hadn't done any of those things. Of course, she was only thinking of the takeover and not the other times she had protected and stayed strong for her younger years, the last past experience was flashing across her eyes like a movie and she played a very bad part.

"Prefect's are supposed to set an example, right?" Her voice was getting angrier and angrier, but she was only angry at herself and now she probably had to apologize for slightly yelling at her HOH. "Well, I haven't been exactly setting a very good example lately" Seanna declared, her tone now cold as well as angry. The girl knew most of what she was saying was her fault, anyhow. Seanna could've done more, but no she hadn't. The sixth year could've probably not done so many stupid things last term as well, but she hadn't stopped herself from doing so.

Seanna let her brown eyes drop to the badge and she scowled at, though she felt like she was scowling at herself, which in a twisted sort of way, she was. "So no. I haven't been handling having that badge very well. There's your reasons for me not deserving it" Not that he wanted any reasons, but Seanna felt like she should offer her HOH some, anyways. Finally looking at the man, her brown eyes were one's filled with anger, but mixed in with anger was uncertainty as well and Seanna had let the anger and uncertainty win in the end.

[marvin]

Marvin watched as the girl began to pour out her concerns to him, he listened as her voice rose and grew angry, but he did not interrupt. It was important to vent and it seemed she had been keeping such things to herself for a while, venting was a good way to get them out of you and he did not worry about her yelling. He could see she was having trouble seeing as the things she did do for the students. "But did you not check on the younger students while Robert Shaw came to visit?" Marvin questioned politely, knowing the girl had at least, checked on the kids to make sure they were okay. "Didn't you stay with young Lianna and Sarsha on the first night when Robert first arrived?" Marvin had been watching. He had been keeping an eye on his own house, making sure none of them did anything too stupid. Although he had missed the warning signs of his head girl, and so had not been able to stop her launching a potato, however, Shaw had seemed to just laugh at her and continue on his way.

Marvin eyes Seanna for a moment, wondering how she was likely to react. She wasn't seeing all the good things she had done, only the times when she had, in her own eyes, stuffed up. It was not a good way to see things and he knew he needed to show her just what she had done, and why she was wearing that badge on her chest, and why she should be proud of it, and herself. "Are you not the one who has been keeping peace in Hufflepuff between Krissy and Patrick?" Marvin questioned Seanna again. Yes, he had heard, he always heard about what went on and half the entrance to the common room being blown up was always something important to know about. He knew too that Seanna had had a part in blowing up the entrance, however he also knew she had yelled at both Patrick and Krissy and told them to stop the nonsense.

Marvin took another sip out of his bottle of butterbeer and gave Seanna a warm smile. He hoped the girl would be able to see just how much she did do for the youngsters of Hufflepuff. "Are you sure you wouldn't like a drink?" He offered for a second time, "It is rather good butterbeer" Marvin usually offered a second time because sometimes people did change their minds and did not want to ask.

[seanna]

"Yes... but I didn't really do much good. I checked on them, but I didn't really do a good job of keeping them calm, in fact, I think I did the opposite. I panicked" Seanna said lamely, her voice just a bit softer this time then it was before. The girl knew she had probably scared the two youngsters more than kept them calm, she had tried, but she was never any good in emergencies and never any good counseling, or so she thought.

Seanna had to let out a snort when Atwood mentioned Krissy and Pat, thinking back to the time when Pat had caused the hole in Huffle to become just a little bigger. "Not like they listened to me" Seanna pointed out, in fact, she got yelled back at and Seanna expected nothing more. The girl even thought afterwards she might as well have stayed out of it and let Krissy and Pat blow up the whole entire common room, it wouldn't have took much, half of it was all ready blown up after all.

Seanna shook her head once again at the offer of the butterbeer. The girl was still wary of people offering her drinks and if the butterbeer did have a truth serum in it, the rest of all her secrets would come tumbling out faster than you could say 'secret'. Even though it seemed she was just thinking of herself for the moment, she still took notice of her HOH having no hat, but she didn't really feel like this was the best time to bring the fact out into the open. The only thing she did know was, that it felt strange to see him without one.