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Post by viola on Apr 21, 2008 1:40:09 GMT -5
Peeking her head into the lounge to make sure it was empty, Annemarie saw no one that she would have liked to avoid. Actually, at that moment, there seemed to be nowhere in the lounge, however, she only took a brief glance before heading in. It would have looked odd for the Slytherin Head of House to have her bum sticking out the door as her head was peeking in every which way, and so with her quick scan she walked right on in.
She needed to be somewhere where she could relax other than her office. For the past few days since her talk with Alexander, which in her opinion hadn’t ended that well but probably best for the both of them, Annemarie had avoided the hallways like they were infested with the plague. However, she wasn’t one to be kept cooped up for long, and finally, she had to leave to do something… anything.
In the lounge, a pleasure reading book in hand, Annemarie sat on the couch in the room and curled herself into a ball on the corner of the furniture. Her emerald green dress covered her lifted legs completely as it also was able to hang off the sides of the couch. Sighing, she looked around and closed her eyes, listening to nothing in particular and yet, everything all at once. Her breathing slowed, as did everything else and she was completely content for once.
Brining her head back down and opening her eyes, she began to read. Yes, this was a little better than the office…but soon, Annemarie would need fresh air. Walking around the lake sounded nice…maybe she’d do that later
(Brady)
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Post by Devin Brady on Apr 21, 2008 1:51:51 GMT -5
A haggard looking Brady entered the lounge in search of one thing, and that was coffee. He had cleaned up slightly, of course that meant that he still looked like a complete wreck. But that was in no way going to stop him. He had shaved now, and showered, so his appearance had taken a boost for sure. His robes also were changed. Now instead of being completely wrinkled, they were only slightly so. That being said, Brady still looked like he could be restricted to a bed. His eyes still puffy, obviously in need of sleep. Along with paleness, and just a weak all around structure... it was sad almost.
But without even taking a minute to look around the lounge, he committed. He headed straight towards the object of his desire, and when it hit his mouth a content sigh was let out. And a couple seconds later, the man stood holding an empty cup, and looking for a refill. The pot was empty now, there had only been a little left over before, meaning this was to take a little longer than he wished... it was unfortunate. So complying with the facts, he sat head in hands, still never taking notice of what others could be in the room. Hell Raynor could come in and blast her nagging in his ear, and he would take absolutely no notice. He had no need for contact to the world, or so he felt, all he needed was to figure out every way he could benefit his plan, and so thats what he would do.
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Post by viola on Apr 21, 2008 1:58:54 GMT -5
Her eyes darted up as another entered the room and yet seemed not to notice her. Regaining a pulse when she realized that it was Devin Brady, Annemarie sighed out a breath and just watched him without saying a word. Watching him, Brady went and grabbed a cup of coffee and drank the rest of the pot without even thinking about it, it seemed. He didn’t look good and as he sat he rested his head in his hands. Slightly concerned, for Brady had always been one to greet her politely before, she swung her legs over the couch, leaving her book on the couch and walked over to where the Gryffindor Head of House sat and sat next to him.
Just as silently as she had come over to him, she placed a hand lightly on the man’s shoulders. “Are you ok, Professor Brady?” Annemarie asked, hoping that everything was fine. For if it wasn’t, what could she really do about it?
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Post by Devin Brady on Apr 21, 2008 2:06:18 GMT -5
Without even a seconds notice his hand was wrapped around the woman's wrist. His eyes with a dull glow as he looked up at her, soon faded as he let go. "I'm sorry Professor, my auror nerves got the best of me. But I assure you, I'm fine, just a little tired is all." That wasn't completely true, but not necessarily a lie either. It was true, he wasn't really all that well, but most of it was due to exhaustion, thats what happened when one worked non stop, you become drained and you can't really expect to look all that healthy. But what was important was his reflexes, and his magic, as long as he had those he would be fine.
Then again, who could tell how long that would last with the way he was going. That was unimportant though, at least at the moment. Standing up, he grabbed the now finished pot of coffee. "Would you like a cup? Goes great with," he paused looking at the couch, "a good book."
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Post by viola on Apr 21, 2008 2:16:06 GMT -5
Snapping shut, her eyelids were the first reaction Annemarie gave that was soon followed by a flinch and a slight gasp. It wasn’t that Brady’s hand grabbing her wrist had hurt any, but she expected it to. He was quick, that was for sure and instantly Annemarie regretted going over to her colleague and doing anything…she should have just asked from the couch. He let go and she instinctively pulled it back to rub it…making sure it was all intact. By this time, her eyes had been opened but Annemarie hadn’t known for how long. “No, no…it’s alright. I shouldn’t have startled you,” Annemarie responded back as Brady got up a few minutes later to walk over to the coffee.
“Umm…” Annemarie nodded and shrugged. “Please?” she said not really sure what would happen if she refused. Getting up, Annemarie circled where they sat and sat in a chair across from where Brady was sitting. It seemed a little safer….
“Seems there’s no breaks for the weary,” she commented, lightly laughing as she remembered what David had told her about taking a break. Now that was a good joke…
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Post by Devin Brady on Apr 21, 2008 2:27:07 GMT -5
He smiled lightly at the joke, as he poured two cups. Walking over to the table he placed her cup on the table in front of her, before sitting down with his. It felt much better to his exhausted body, every limb longing for rest. He looked over at her, and he was sure she was a little shaken by his reaction. He of course felt terrible about it, and really he shouldn't have done it. What possible way to make it up to her? Well there really was only one way he could think of, and that was a fair explanation of why... well at least a decent one, no need for details. Though in the long run, who knew what one would find out.
"I'm really sorry about grabbing you about that, you know I just wasn't expecting it. I mean I was in my own world kind of, and I had no clue anyone was in the room..." he paused, really it just sounded like he was coming up with stupid excuses, and well he was sort of. Yet the truth lied beneath it all. It was because he was jumpy, and when he thought about it there was only one reason. "It's the war, its got me going crazy."
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Post by viola on Apr 21, 2008 2:40:28 GMT -5
Annemarie wrapped her hands around the coffee, letting the warmth from the cup soak into her hands. Listening to Devin, Annemarie nodded and opened her mouth just slightly. “No, it’s ok rea…” she stopped as he continued, knowing that she probably shouldn’t have snuck up on him as she did, for he didn’t really look up to par, or what he usually looked like from what Annemarie had examined of him.
In her opnion, Devin Brady was a decent looking man, always proper and polite to her. He was an upstanding individual with a lot going for him. Sure, she had read the papers and such, but Annemarie had always been one for judging others after they met. What the papers had said didn’t fly with Annemarie. It was probably why she only read them few and far in between.
“You have to settle yourself, I think,” Annemarie said, trying her best to console. “I mean, I understand that it’s stressful, but there’s many bridges that must be crossed at the same time. You look as if you’re wearing yourself out, Mr. Brady…” Annemarie hesitated. “…I mean, if you don’t mind me saying that is.” Annemarie looked directly as the older man, tilting her head slightly and tried to give him an encouraging smile. “Is it what happened in January that’s got you upset, so?” she wondered curiously. “Or…something more?” She wondered.
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Post by Devin Brady on Apr 21, 2008 2:57:39 GMT -5
January or more, it was such a good question. Which was it that got to him? It would be a lie to say that January had nothing to do with it, but what it the whole thing? No it couldn't be. This had become Devin's worst enemy, internal struggle. He just couldn't settle anything without questioning it every which way, so when this came out of his mouth it was surprising even to him. He had just lowered his head thinking the question when out from his mouth came words he would never expect. "January was just the start of it." He took a minute to breath, and let the thought settle in. January had been just that, the start of so much more.
"They are going to die," he said in a sad lifeless voice. It was what he thought about all the time now, the students, they were going to die. They hadn't been able to keep the school protected, and that was a problem, but how could they protect the students when they weren't there? Who was going to take care of the people when the government was practically working against them? It was all these questions that raged in his mind, the ones that kept him working, knowing full well he couldn't sleep with his mind moving so fast. "There is no way to protect them all, we are just keeping them at bay until the wolves get everything else."
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Post by viola on Apr 21, 2008 23:23:48 GMT -5
Annemarie listened intently, for Brady became even more serious than he had been before and it was almost frightening. However, what he said did scare the thirty two year old, for he was so convinced about it that Annemarie didn’t even want to think about it. “No,” she said softly shaking her head. “No one is going to die. There are people out there that can help…” Annemarie didn’t know really who, but the ministry was where some must have been, and the students that she had seen were very capable. “We have a lot of gifted and talented student, Devin,” she said, shaking her head. “Not to mention, our staff is stronger than it’s ever been. Or since I’ve seen it…” she trailed off not really knowing what else to say.
Annemarie could see the sleep deprivation on Brady and she almost wondered if he was somewhat freaking out because he needed rest. “You look exhausted, Professor….” She commented. “Have you not been sleeping well because of all of this?”
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Post by Devin Brady on Apr 21, 2008 23:53:04 GMT -5
He smiled lightly as the woman said no one was going to die, and that there were people who could help. It was sort of sad, that she could be naive like this, but he was glad she was still hopeful. "Oh there are a few who can help, but that might not be enough. Trust me I know there are talents, but the Ministry is in shambles. Few of the aurors actually have any skill, and the ones that do are held down by the corruption. As for the students, well there is no denying that there is a strong talent pool, but they don't deserve to be thrown into a war. They just aren't ready. The ones with the skill, don't know what they are walking into, and though the students in this school have a ton of heart... its just unfair."
He took some time to breathe and down his coffee. "Some will survive, they always do... at least to get to the next war. Its the ones who don't that I'm worried about, and those around them. They always suffer the hardest. As for sleeping, well who has time for that these days anyway?" Surely he didn't, too much work to rest. The rest was for the meak, and he was to be a force to be reckon with.
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Post by viola on Apr 22, 2008 0:10:17 GMT -5
"It may be unfair, but if they aren't even allowed to defend themselves..." Annemarie shook her head. Not only was Brady frightening her slightly, she almost wondered how he acted around the students. Surely, if he was saying such things like this in front of them they'd be a wreak all themselves. "No one deserves to be thrown into a war, or any kind of situation like that," Annemarie said calmly. "It happens, and the only way to win is not to give up, and not to assume that all will..." her words were cut off by Brady's answer and she nodded agreeing with him.
Some will survive, they always do... at least to get to the next war. Its the ones who don't that I'm worried about, and those around them. They always suffer the hardest. As for sleeping, well who has time for that these days anyway?
Annemarie didn't feel bad as one may have when he said who had time to sleep. She did, and she was content most of the time while doing it. As of lately, with Alexander being back in the picture and everything going all the mess with that, Annemarie had had a few nightmares here and there, but nothing that would make her lose her sleep over. The Gryffindor Head of House was finding everything more of a personal vendetta of his own and Annemarie was sure that it wasn't healthy for him. "There may not be time, but a tired and unfocused individual is a dangerous one. If you really want to help those in need, you have to take care of yourself first, Devin." Annemarie's face flushed a little, for she really had never sat down and spoken with the man in great depth before and now she was telling him what to do? That, she was sure, was inappropriate, but at the same time, Annemarie felt as if it were needed.
"How are you going to protect those you care about, worry about, or are too weak to do it themselves, if you die of exhaustion or from just plain not taking care of yourself?" she asked him plainly, bluntly, and straight forward like. "You'll drive yourself mad before you're able to help anyone."
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Post by Devin Brady on Apr 22, 2008 0:24:24 GMT -5
It wasn't that Brady felt they shouldn't defend themselves, in fact he strongly agreed with them defending themselves. Thats why he tried to bring Defense into his class when he could. If they weren't teaching it as a subject, he could at least aid in keeping the students knowledgeable. No he believed they should be free to defend themselves, its those who got caught up in the actual war that he feared for. How many would want to fight, and would throw themselves into the fight, only to be struck down in the fight. Or how many would lose those that they loved, because their loved ones fought. It scared him and for good reason.
It was then that she started assuring him that resting was necessary, she was beginning to sound like Raynor. But he couldn't blame her for what she didn't know. He was protecting people, thats what was costing the sleep. All the time preparing, and helping would mean less sleep each night. And when he tried he would just need to awake to do more, purely from not being able to sleep.
But it was there that she hit him hard. She asked how he could defend those he cared about... and there was only one answer to that question... He took a deep breathe, held it in, then breathed once more. He hadn't snapped at her he had managed to prevent that. What came out wasn't exactly what he had hoped, or expected really. Weakly he managed to get out two words, "I couldn't."
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Post by viola on Apr 22, 2008 0:49:36 GMT -5
I couldn’t
Annemarie hadn’t expected an answer such as the one that came forth. Frankly, what she had expected from the man was him telling her finally to mind her own business and go back to her novel reading. She wouldn’t have expected anything less, and then that was exactly what he gave her. Her eyebrows pointed inward as she froze in time for a moment, not exactly knowing where to go or what to say. The man seemed defeated, as if there was something more behind all of what he was doing…
Even the answer itself didn’t follow suit to what she had asked of him. Annemarie remembered quickly back to what she had asked and remembered quite clearly that she had asked him how he was going to protect those he cared about. He gave her in return an answer that was clearly past tense.
“Devin?” Annemarie asked gently reaching, hesitantly, over to where his hand was on his coffee cup and gently placed her hand so that only her fingers were touching the back his hand. She really hoped that he wouldn’t break her fingers, but shoved the horrid thought from her mind also she tried her hardest not to gulp as she did so. “Devin…what’s going on?” Annemarie didn’t know what Brady had lived through. Frankly, she had skipped the second war all together when she left after graduation to the muggle world, so she had only heard through the grape vines stories of things that had happened to people and their families. Annemarie didn’t know anything about Devin Brady, but from what she could see now there was indeed something going on.
“Couldn’t protect who?” she pressed, softly speaking as if not to alarm. Annemarie didn’t mean to press, but at the same time, she felt it necessary. The man before her was suffering, and her heart bled for him. If he was going help anyone…he had to help himself…Or rather, he needed to accept help from others…either way, Annemarie pressed hoping he wouldn’t completely shut down right there in front of her. She held her breath…and waited.
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Post by Devin Brady on Apr 22, 2008 1:19:16 GMT -5
They had all had losses, those that had been there for the second war, and many that hadn't. In fact the total loses were some of the worst in history. Devin Brady however took his loses very hard. He hadn't really meant to tell her, in fact it had just kind of slipped out, but now that it was out there he could hardly cover it up. Plus it was as much common knowledge as anything else. She could simply just look up deaths in the second war, or Devin's past history and there it would be a burning hole in his heart.
"I'm not sure if you've heard, but for much of the second war, I was an auror. And my long time girlfriend, was also such. In fact she was a brilliant auror, a pure mix of skill and brain. During the later half of the war we came to be engaged, we had spent enough time together to know that we were in love. I had sort of dragged her further into the war, by joining the Order of the Phoenix, she only felt right to join with me. But one day a raid went wrong, and she was kiled... it was suppose to be a simple raid, wanna be's. She shouldn't have even been there, but she had been so angry about being left out that I let her go. She shouldn't have even been anywhere near there, it should have been me out there. I let her die."
Tears burned in his eyes, but none fell. He had grown to hate himself for that day, and his life changed forever. Gone was the carefree man that once lived happily, now replaced with a perfectionist, a man who couldn't be wrong, and made sure he wasn't. Here was the man Devin Brady pushing himself to the edge of a cliff, and instead of turning back he was climbing.
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Post by viola on Apr 22, 2008 19:56:05 GMT -5
In Annemarie's mind, there were never any accidents or coincidences. How many times had her life been thrown in one direction or another, ultimately leading her back here to Hogwarts, where she felt she could do some good. It was true that she was muggle born, it was true that she was probably the most religious and faithful witch one would ever greet, but at the same time, if she hadn't had a purpose for being there to help, she would have moved on long before. So, for Devin to be sitting there before her with tears in his eyes that refused to fall, Annemarie knew that there was so much more behind this man that he hid from the world. It wasn't a matter of telling someone...it was a matter of admitting that one was scared of losing again.
Annemarie didn't smile, but her face wasn't screwed up in away that was disgusted or anything of the sort. It was soft, delicate, and caring...almost as if she had never left her position at St. Catherine's. She was there to console as best she could...or so she hoped she could console the man. He was killing himself to allow others to survive, and everything that he blamed himself for was eating him away on the inside. Annemarie could not speak about loss as Devin knew it, for she hadn't known loss like that. Not where she could blame herself...not loss like that. "I'm sorry, Professor for your loss..." Annemarie started. She almost didn't want to continue, but the man was going to kill himself. It was evident. And the most she could lose, in Annemarie's mind, was the respect of another by pushing too hard on a subject that was none of her concern. It wouldn't have been the first time...
"But do you think she would have had it any other way?" Annemarie asked softly. "If one becomes an auror, they know the risks. They know what they are willing to die for..." she trailed off taking her hand back from Devin's. Annemarie wasn't stupid when pushing buttons. "She chose her life, her passion, and gave you in return all of her love that she had probably only held for you. By allowing her, as you say you did, you gave her what she needed. Your love, her freedom...and the right to choose what she fought for."
Annemarie paused letting all of what she said digest for Brady before moving on. "Devin..." she whispered, hoping his eyes would rise to meet hers. "You allowed her to live. And right now, I'm positive she would want you to do the same."
Annemarie softly gulped after all was said and done. She was ready to be thrown out of the antechamber for sure...
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