Drew Thornton
Ministry of Magic
Auror-in-Training
I didn't do it and you can't prove otherwise...
Posts: 14,114
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Post by Drew Thornton on Dec 14, 2007 1:47:47 GMT -5
"I'm trying to understand," he told her, thinking that sometimes he just needed more information than was probably necessary. And other times, he thought that maybe she didn't understand that he actually did understand. So, aside from trying to talk things through, he was also working on being a little more clear than just saying "I don't get it" all the time.
No, he wasn't counting this as a real break-up, figuring it was more of a break than a break-up. The difference was, at least in Drew's mind, that while Felicity might not be his girlfriend at the moment, she wasn't really his ex-girlfriend either. He wasn't ready to tack that prefix onto her yet.
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Post by Felicity Hjort on Dec 14, 2007 1:55:37 GMT -5
The only prefix Felicity was thinking about for Drew was that he was her friend. Her friend Drew. Not an ex, because it wasn't like he was an ex friend, and it was too mean to call him an ex-boyfriend being he was her friend, or was going to be her friend again. Really, it was kind of confusing, so she wasn't going to think about it too much anyway.
"I know you are," she answered him softly. "I just get frustrated when you don't or I don't think you do..." Perhaps she just got frustrated too easily? Yes, she knew that was very true, but it didn't mean she had to like it any. But she was trying to work on it, it was her New Year's resolution after all. It just wasn't working too well, much like many others with resolutions made on the New Year.
"So friends?" she asked him for clarification. "And dinner?" And when he left, she was still going to crumple.
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Drew Thornton
Ministry of Magic
Auror-in-Training
I didn't do it and you can't prove otherwise...
Posts: 14,114
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Post by Drew Thornton on Dec 14, 2007 2:16:03 GMT -5
"Yeah," Drew answered back with just a hint of a shrug, still not sure how come she didn't see him as a friend while he was her boyfriend. It was almost like the two things were seperate for her and that bothered him.
And he still wasn't convinced they had to be on a break to fix it.
But he wasn't about to try and fight it anymore. It was clear that his choice was friends or nothing and he sure as heck wasn't about to opt for nothing.
"Apples, trophy room, six o'clock," he verified, thinking it sounded like she was ready to part ways. He knew they would have to do it eventually that morning, but he wasn't sure he was ready to do so just yet.
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Post by Felicity Hjort on Dec 14, 2007 2:35:44 GMT -5
They were separate cases within one big one. No, technically they were separate, but she still wanted to know that his friendship wouldn't be voided of her if something bad happened between them. And being she didn't feel like the friendship was any longer there, she felt the need to make it into two separate things until she at least had his friendship again. And if they decided they didn't like each other the way they thought they did, then they'd at least still be friends.
Nodding at him, she smiled slightly. At least he was understanding now that she didn't want to be together like that right now, she just wanted a break from it all for a little while. Maybe they'd just gone too fast, or maybe it just wasn't right, whatever it was though, she didn't want to lose all of him and felt it was better to stop and regain what she felt had been lost along the way.
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Drew Thornton
Ministry of Magic
Auror-in-Training
I didn't do it and you can't prove otherwise...
Posts: 14,114
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Post by Drew Thornton on Dec 15, 2007 4:10:18 GMT -5
If something bad happened between them, chances were that things would probably be voided completely. That was just the nature of things, especailly considering that was pretty much the definition of "things going bad". The good news was that Drew planned on making sure things did not go bad.
She answered back with nothing more than a simple nod, and Drew wondered if she got as frustrated with him when he gave a minimal reponse like that. ... Probably... He'd have to work on actually answering her, even when he didn't feel like it.
"You sure you don't want me to bring anything else?" he asked, still not ready to part ways even though it was pretty clear she was.
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Post by Felicity Hjort on Dec 15, 2007 21:24:39 GMT -5
There were no plans on Felicity's behalf, other than to find his friendship again. Finding his friendship was the most important thing, and while she really hoped things wouldn't go bad, she coldn't actually stop them from doing so. But she also wasn't thinking they would go bad, so had no reason to think of how to keep them from going in that direction.
"Yes, I'm sure that's all," she answered with a small smile, unable to muster more. A small smile was another start, a smaller step than the big smile she'd tried before, but right now she was feeling too hurt inside to give more than that. The shattered pieces were currently finding themselves unrepairable, and it'd take more than a few minutes to piece it all back together. "Just you and apples, and I'll provide the rest."
Thankfully he was about as picky as she was, which wsn't at all. It would make whipping something up quick and easy, and she'd be able to cry for a while before having to fix herself up and meet him again. But she still wanted to eat dinner with him, as his friend. It would be fun, a picnic in early, early spring, just inside. Just the two of them.
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Drew Thornton
Ministry of Magic
Auror-in-Training
I didn't do it and you can't prove otherwise...
Posts: 14,114
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Post by Drew Thornton on Dec 15, 2007 21:45:23 GMT -5
"Okay then," Drew answered with a small shrug, thinking she looked miserable and wondering again why she was doing this if it made her so sad. Then again, it could have been a put on, just because she knew he was feeling lousy about it. If that was the case, he actually appreciated it. He didn't think he could handle it if she was acting all happy about this arrangement of hers.
She was ready to go, but he wasn't, and the thought brought up another question that he wasn't sure he should ask. It just felt so stupid, but he really wasn't sure. Earlier when she had walked away, she got mad at him for not going after her. When she walked away now, was he supposed to follow her? He didn't think so, but he wasn't sure.
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Post by Felicity Hjort on Dec 15, 2007 21:55:19 GMT -5
Again he shrugged, and she wondered if when he shrugged it meant the same thing as when she did. And if it did, it made her feel even more sad, especially because she was now thinking it did, had in fact convinced herself of that fact and was currently doing her best to smile for the both of them, even if it was still a small one.
He wasn't moving, she didn't want to, so who left first? Felicity felt it was probably time for them to split, before they overtalked something once more and ended in another argument. The lioness really didn't think her heart could handle another one at that moment, not at the rate theirs arguments were going that day.
"All right then..." she trailed off, hoping he'd agree and go toward the castle. The spot she wanted to sink into the mud was already staked out, close to the Great Lake, where she could sink deep without wasting time.
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Drew Thornton
Ministry of Magic
Auror-in-Training
I didn't do it and you can't prove otherwise...
Posts: 14,114
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Post by Drew Thornton on Dec 15, 2007 22:21:32 GMT -5
For Drew, a shrug was usually a response of confusion, a feeling he had become quite familiar with over the past few weeks. Once again, his shoulders went up to his ears, not willing to agree that anything was all right, and afraid to disagree. Even if he had tried to tell her again how terribly un-right it all was, he didn't think it would do any good.
"You won't even tell me what I did wrong?" he asked softly, wondering if she'd just give him that much before she left. Then at least he would know not to do it again.
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Post by Felicity Hjort on Dec 15, 2007 22:35:57 GMT -5
Closing her eyes and trying to avoid getting overly angry with him, she was getting annoyed, and it was only one little question. What had he done wrong? Absolutely nothing! Not one thing had he done wrong that was a deciding factor on this. She wanted the break because she needed it, wanted it, felt it was right to take. Maybe he didn't agree with her, but did he really prefer her not being happy in the situation? While she knew he wasn't going to be happy about the situation, she also knew it freed him to not be bound to her. What if he did find someone else who let him kiss on her and didn't get mad at him? Wouldn't he rather try with her, despite what he said?
"Nothing, Drew," she told him, doing her best to control her voice. She was just going through a range of emotions that morning. "You didn't do anything wrong. You were perfect, are perfect, I just feel like we're not as close as we were. Like we lost our friendship somehow. I know, we're friends, but not as close as we once were. You didn't do anything."
Really, she wouldn't have minded asking why he felt the need to take blame in a situation that didn't require blame or pointed fingers.
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Drew Thornton
Ministry of Magic
Auror-in-Training
I didn't do it and you can't prove otherwise...
Posts: 14,114
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Post by Drew Thornton on Dec 15, 2007 22:51:52 GMT -5
As if he had been slapped across the face, he flinched at her answer, finding the perceived sarcasm to be more hurtful than anything else she had said that morning. If she could say something that mean to him, then maybe she was right. They weren't friends.
He lowered his head and nodded to the mud puddles, feeling that maybe it was a good time to leave after all. He would have if he trusted his legs to work properly at all.
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Post by Felicity Hjort on Dec 15, 2007 22:58:07 GMT -5
Again, that forboden silence that was never a good sign with him. Why, why did she have to get mad at him? She knew the answer, it was because he seemed insitant that there was a finger to be pointed in this, and that it was to be at him. There was no reason for it, she just wanted to take a break. If he wanted to point fingers, why couldn't he just point one at her and get it over with? Because that wasn't like him, she knew that.
"Drew, I'm sorry," she apologized quietly, feeling horrible, yet so frustrated. "I didn't mean... why do feel like you did something? I'm the one who wants this, and not because you did or didn't do something. I just feel like I need it, because I get so frustrated sometimes, and friends don't get frustrated like I do. Maybe it's just me..."
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Drew Thornton
Ministry of Magic
Auror-in-Training
I didn't do it and you can't prove otherwise...
Posts: 14,114
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Post by Drew Thornton on Dec 15, 2007 23:34:40 GMT -5
The old it's not you, it's me line was the oldest one in the book, and Drew didn't believe it for a second. Everyone knew that when someone said that, that it really was you. If it wasn't you, then they wouldn't break up with you to begin with, would they?
He wasn't sure if they were actually lies she was telling, but they were contradicitons in his mind, and they seemed to keep piling up. He was liking the whole thing less and less.
He stayed silent for a while, almost afraid to speak at all, but he finally did. He had vowed to work on that and so he forced himself to answer.
"You just say you're frustrated. How is that not me?" he asked. "And who says friends don't get frustrated? Wouldn't better friends stick it out and work through it?" Drew thought they would, which meant that she really didn't want to be his friend... another contradicition.
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Post by Felicity Hjort on Dec 15, 2007 23:47:45 GMT -5
Immediately, she hung her head. Yes, she was frustrated because of him, but that wasn't what she'd meant and she was pretty sure he knew that. She meant she wasn't wanting the break because of him. Maybe he did play a part in it all, but she didn't want to think of it that way, if she could blame it all on herself as she was the one who wanted it, it made it easier, because at least she was giving herself her first heartbreak.
"Yes, I'm frustrated with you, is that what you want to hear?" she asked him suddenly. "No, I don't want this solely because of you. You didn't do anything to make me decide this was what was best, at least on my part. I don't like arguing with you! That's why I think we need a break Drew. Because I get frustrated with you needing to take the blame, even when there's none to be taken. I get frustrated when you don't understand things I say or do, just like I'm sure you get frustrated with me."
Taking a deep breath, she continued. "Friends do get frustrated, yes, but they're not supposed to get this frustrated. I've never had a friend I got so frustrated with before, and I really think it's because I feel like I lost your friendship. You keep saying we're friends, fine, we're friends. But I really feel like we aren't sometimes. Yes, they're supposed to stick it out and talk about it, but sometimes even friends need space so they can organize their thoughts Drew. Sometimes friends actually let their friends have room so they can think before asking them what's wrong. But friends don't always take the blame for something when there's no need to take blame."
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Drew Thornton
Ministry of Magic
Auror-in-Training
I didn't do it and you can't prove otherwise...
Posts: 14,114
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Post by Drew Thornton on Dec 16, 2007 0:08:21 GMT -5
Again, he felt like she was contradicting herself. She felt like she had lost his friendship, but he never did, so what had he done to make her feel that way? She says friends need room to think and he waited fairly patiently for weeks while she sorted things out, yet she still wanted to take a break, she still felt like he wasn't her friend.
And friends don't take the blame when there's nothing to take the blame for? Every contradiciton he heard told him he was at fault, so there went that argument as well.
Why was he fighting so hard for her to stay? She obviously didn't want to... and he obviously didn't deserve her. And if she saw no friendship, why pretend that there was anything to save?
He lowered his head again, hating himself for wishing she'd just leave, hating himself more for wanting her to stay.
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