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Post by jacquelynchaput on Aug 7, 2007 19:01:39 GMT -5
As Jax walked, she thought deeply. An understanding was asked for. Someone who Jax could relate to about the problems that plagued her soul, that would know exactly how she was feeling. Another like her, who liked the same gender. What? Why did it still now, make as little sense as it had before? Jax hugged her arms together and tried to rest her confused mind. Did Snake like her? Was she being used? But not Snake....Snake wouldn't....she wasn't like the other people at school.
Jax continued to search, look around so that she could ease her confusion. Her father and Jax had a system of talking out problems, it made living as a single parent easier for Guy Chaput. Jax figured that if anything was wrong, her and Snake could talk it through as well. That's what friends did, didn't they? Coming so close to having someone know her even a little, Jax was sure she wasn't ready to give that up....even if Snake didn't like her and it was all a mistake.
But how do you mistakenly kiss someone? Especially, when you know exactly who they are, and their face isn't covered with a mask? Yes, she had forgiven Krissy by now. If it wasn't for Krissy, she never would have gone out to think that night, she never would have met Snake, and she never would have talked to Drew. Sure, she no longer thinking of switiching how she felt and directing it at a guy or anything. Professor Hectis told her no one was normal, and maybe...just maybe Snake was the person that Jax had wished for so many times that could help her with her 'issue'.
Jax continued to look through the bustling streets of diagon for her friend. No where could Jax see her. Finally, she called out to her, "Snake?! Snake, where are you?!" Jax could handle if it was a mistake....but if it wasn't, Jax was now sure that she could put aside some of the lies or stretched truths to at least confide in someone that she considered her friend.
(Snake)
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Post by "Snake" Lilly Kirve on Aug 7, 2007 19:25:05 GMT -5
Snake didn’t hear Jax calling for her above the crowd and even if she had she was not sure that she would answer. She pulled her knees to her chest and buried her head in her head in her hands. “Stupid…” She muttered aloud. She was sure that she had just ruined her friendship with Jax. She never wanted to leave where she sat. But she knew she couldn’t stay here forever. She decided to head back to her motel and spend the rest of the week locked in her room.
She rose to her feet and forced herself to walk to the entrance of her hiding place between two shops and back onto the main street. But she didn’t get far because soon she saw Jax. A squeak slipped past her lips and the blush in her face, which was just dying down, returned. Hoping she hadn’t been seen she returned to the narrow alley, hoping Jax had not seen her. But she did not go all the way to the back this time but hovered uncertainly in the entrance. Should she wait for Jax to pass or should she just try and slip by?
When Jax started coming towards her, or at least that was what it looked like, she returned to the other end. Her mind was whirling and she didn’t want to have to deal with explaining to her friend why she had kissed her.
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Post by jacquelynchaput on Aug 7, 2007 19:39:46 GMT -5
No respond. Must be all the ruckus, Jax thought to herself while looking at all the people around. It looked as if no one was paying attention to anything but themselves and who they were with. It gave Jax a bit of ease as she hoped that the dancers also did the same. It couldn't be everyday they didn't see someone kiss another....Jax thought about that and her stomach flipped a bit. She hoped to Merlin that what happened wouldn't reach anyone's ears. Though...she could deny it. Silly rumors are started all the time....
Jax thought about that and cringed again. Grade school had been like that. Rumors, horrible rumors, flying every which way about her and her prefrences in people. The way she dressed, the guys she hung out with, never any girls around her....they made stories up that explained why. Later they were true....what was that? Foreshadowing? Did muggles have psychic powers they didn't know about? Her father called them cruel children. But was it more?
A darkened alleyway caught Jax's attention. A movement in the back? She didn't know. "Hello?" she called down the alley as she started to walk slowly. Images of that night in Hogwarts with her old professor, Ari, and Professor Marcos filled her mind. It was as if she was walking right into what could have been a trap....but she couldn't stop herself. It must have been that ravenclaw curiosity that her house was somewhat prided for. Stopping half way down the alley, a bat came out of a near by crack in a building and dive bombed at Jax. She screamed and fell to the ground to lay there as it flew over her. Jax hated bats....but for some reason, they just loved her.
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Post by "Snake" Lilly Kirve on Aug 7, 2007 19:57:38 GMT -5
Snake heard Jax calling Hello as she entered and sank down to the ground and pulled her knee’s to her chest and closed her eyes, wishing she wasn’t there. But she didn’t stay like that for long because as soon as Jax screamed her eyes were open and she was on her feet looking around. Now that she thought of it a dark alley probably wasn’t the best place to be letting her guard down in. She looked around but didn’t see the revenclaw right away. Her heart skipped a beat, had something happened? If something had happened it would be entirely her fault. And then she saw her lying on the ground.
“Jax?” She asked, nervously. She hesitated then walked over to her. “Are you ok?” She knelt down, her heart pounding. Not out of fear but out of anticipation. When Jax realized it was her would she yell at her, would she say she never wanted to see her again, did she now hate Jax. She waited nervously for the younger girl to respond.
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Post by jacquelynchaput on Aug 7, 2007 20:05:50 GMT -5
Jax continued to scream when Snake came out from where she had been. Face planted in the ground, the young girl's body quivered in fear as she tried to swing with her hand at the bat that had gone by that time. "Where is it!? Get it away!!" She screamed unaware that the bat had already gone.
Jax briefly glanced to herside at Snake and a tear fell from her eye. She really hated bats. It was probably the most girly thing ever, but Jax didn't care as she lay on the ground. Silently, she spoke up agian...."Is it gone?"
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Post by "Snake" Lilly Kirve on Aug 7, 2007 20:18:47 GMT -5
Snake looked around, “Is what gone? There’s nothing here but us.” She could tell that she was scared and for a moment she forgot the uncomfortable situation. She reached out and put a hand on her shoulder. “It’s ok. It’s gone.” She was not sure what it was but it certainly wasn’t there anymore. She looked around again just to make sure but didn’t see any signs of anger. “It’s ok.”
Now it was clear that nothing horrible was going on the kiss and her running away came back and she stood back up. She crossed her arms and then uncrossed them and stood there awkwardly. “Um…um…I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…back there, you know. I shouldn’t have.” She stumbled through the apology not daring to look at her.
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Post by jacquelynchaput on Aug 7, 2007 20:44:09 GMT -5
Jax sighed in relief and as Snake's hand touched her shoulder she felt safer. "It was a bat....it totally dive bombed me from the building..." Jax started to explain as Snake got up quick and acted as if the bat had come back and bit her. As Jax sat up, afraid the bat was indeed back, Snake started to apologize.
Um...um..I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to...back there, you know. I shouldn't have.
Jax immediately knew what she was talking about and blushed profoundly also looking away from the older girl. What did she say? Did she say it was ok? Would Snake then feel even more awkward that Jax didn't find it as horrible of a deed done as she could have seen it as. Was now when she told Snake that she had been lying to her? "Snake...I....I..." what did she say?
Gettig up and standing in front of her friend, blush finally dying down, she looked at her friend. "It's.....I mean....may I ask you.....I mean...." this was a lot harder than Jax thought and she couldn't even think of anything. Then, something came to mind...."Practice?" she asked, somewhat jokingly....still somewhat serious.
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Post by "Snake" Lilly Kirve on Aug 7, 2007 20:59:10 GMT -5
In almost any other situation she might have laughed at the fact that Jax freaked out over a bat. She couldn’t bring herself to look anywhere other than her shoes as Jax talked. She sounded almost as confused as Snake was felt.
Snake...I....I... It's.....I mean....may I ask you.....I mean.... Practice?
Practice? Would she believe her if she said that it had been. She forced herself to laugh and it came out as a weak chuckle, “Uh…yeah. Pra-Practice…erm…that’s, uh…that’s it. um…” She looked up but not a Jax, she couldn’t bring herself to look into those amazing blue eyes so she looked anywhere else. “Yeah…I mean…uhm…” She cleared her throat she was doing a horrible job at lying. “Sorry?”
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Post by jacquelynchaput on Aug 7, 2007 21:07:44 GMT -5
Jax was bewildered something horrible. She hadn't wanted to hear that it was practice but at the same time it wouldn't figure if it hadn't. But in the middle of Diagon? That was a bit of a wierd place for it, now wasn't it? "You don't have to be....I mean, I should probably....." All of a sudden an American musical of sorts popped into her head. A song that went something like....I should tell you, I should tell you but at the same time, Jax couldn't right out. Could she ever?
Something wasn't right. Snake still seemed uncomfortable. Jax tried to piece all of the puzzle pieces together but couldn't wrap her young mind around it. Had it just been practice? "For real?" Jax asked her seriously almost wondering if she even deserved a truth, since she herself hadn't even told of her own truths.
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Post by "Snake" Lilly Kirve on Aug 7, 2007 21:16:48 GMT -5
Snake cloud not think of a more uncomfortable situation than the one she was in now. She could lie and do her best to convince Jax it had just been a practice kiss or she could tell the truth. She really did not like to lie to one of her close friends but if she told her the truth than she might loose their friendship forever. Then again Snake couldn’t help but notice that Jax had not yelled at her or said she hated Snake or done anything to suggest she had been supremely upset by the incident.
“Just practice, for real.” She could not look at the other girl because she knew her eyes would give her away. Much to her disgust she was fighting back tears, she hated to cry and had not cried in front of another person since her dad and brother had died. She sat down against the wall and put her head in her hands.
“Wasn’t practice.” She mumbled quietly through her hands. She couldn’t stand lying to her but she couldn’t bring herself to tell her outright either so she mumbled it through her hands, half hoping that she wouldn’t hear or atleast not understand what she had said.
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Post by jacquelynchaput on Aug 7, 2007 21:26:53 GMT -5
As Snake looked into Jax's eyes, she could tell that there was something major wrong with her friend. Had she upset her with joking? Jax looked away. This was horrible. She hadn't meant to upset her friend by taking the incident so lightly. What was she supposed to tell Snake, that she didn't mind it? That what happened was ok because in a few small ways she was almost hoping for it? No, that was to much. And not even Jax knew if she had really been hoping for a kiss, or anything of the sort. Just having Snakes arms around her had made her almost melt, a kiss had turned both of their worlds it seemed upside down.
And then, as Snake tried to tell her it was only practice, she fell against the wall, sitting down, and hid her face in her hands. Jax immediately went over to her friend who had slumped against the dirty wall, the night air was only getting cooler, and she wondered how much longer they could stay out in the cold, especially Snake the way she was dressed. Placing her hand on Snakes elbows she briefly and subtly caught her next statment. Wasn't practice? Jax blushed a bit and her stomach did a churn. If it wasn't practice that meant.....
Jax tried not to smile. What a discovery! She wasn't alone? Was that possible? "I haven't been......truthful..." Jax whispered to the other girl. "....and there's no reason you should apologize to someone like me...." a frown appeared on Jax's face. If the girl had known in the beginning...would she have cared? Any more it seemed as if she wouldn't have, but now that she was beating herself up as it seemed, would she be angry for not being told?
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Post by "Snake" Lilly Kirve on Aug 7, 2007 21:53:43 GMT -5
Snake forced back a sob and closed her eyes again the tears that threatened. Why was she getting so emotional all of the sudden? She would not let herself just break down and cry in front of Jax. She listened to her talking quietly next to her. And then after a few moment a thought struck her, Jax had said ‘there's no reason you should apologize to someone like me’. And what was someone like her exactly?
She blinked hard a few times to try and clear away the moisture before turning her head so she could see the ravenclaw. “What’d you mean?” She asked, a little confused and defiantly curious, her voice cracked a little and she had to fight the urge to hide her face again.
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Post by jacquelynchaput on Aug 8, 2007 20:16:44 GMT -5
Jax looked away from Snake, stood and turned so that her back faced where Snake sat. "I mean...er....what I meant to say was that..." What had Jax meant to say? Surly there was something. She sighed and tried not to think that it was her fault Snake was now crying. What had she done to upset her so? Was the kiss her fault? Had she been the one who performed it and hadn't realized? Jax was confused by her friend's emotion, though at the same time she understood it.
"Well, I mean, you can't really apologize to someone when....ya know....they've done the same thing." Jax had not many friends who were female for this just reason. She would get close to them, and they would feel something that she was putting out. That's what it had to be! It's probably why Gail had gone, or disappeared within the walls of her house and decided not to talk to her anymore. It had almost surly come between her and Felicity, not to mention Celina at times. She was amazed that those relationships had not fallen astray as others had, though those two girls were a bit clueless at times. Jax could totally see that. At this thought, she tried not to giggle.
"See...." Jax looked down, and slowly turned around sitting on the ground to face Snake. "I don't have many friends who are girls....and....I mean it's.....it...." even after everything she couldn't say it. Not even after her talk with her professor....it just wouldn't come.
Looking up, Jax's eyes looked over the older Gryffindor. But what Jax was, didn't mean that was true of Snake as well. Krissy wasn't and she had kissed her, so Jax decided to take a different approach to her questioning. "Do....do...." Jax whispered as she stumbled, looking around as if someone could hear. "Do...you.....I mean.....girls, are you......" But still, Jax just couldn't say it out loud.
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Post by "Snake" Lilly Kirve on Aug 8, 2007 20:30:26 GMT -5
Snake watched and listened to her, confused. All she got out of it was that Jax had kissed a girl before…or was she just misinterpreting the words on purpose in an attempt to make whatever she did less uncomfortable for herself. She shook her head and hid her hands again. By this point it seemed her friend had given up an attempt to explain what she meant and went on to questioning Snake.
Do...you.....I mean.....girls, are you......
This was certainly not the most coherent way to phase a question but she was pretty sure what she was asking. “Well…” She looked up again. She had no problem admitting how she felt to everybody but her friends, she was always worried that they would stop being friends because of this. She had a reason to worry about it through because she had lost several friends when she had dated her first girlfriend. She leaned her head against the wall and closed her eyes.
She took a deep breath and held it for several seconds before letting it out while saying, “Yeah.” She opened her eyes and watched Jax nervously. “I mean, don’t get me wrong I fancy guys and all…it’s just…you know, I…erm…fancy girls too.” There, it was out and all she could do was wait to see how the other girl reacted.
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Post by jacquelynchaput on Aug 8, 2007 20:55:45 GMT -5
Jax tried to control her jaw from dropping. It was almost to good to be true! She was no longer alone, and better yet Snake was a friend that came from her school that Jax was now going to! Someone she could talk to....someone who would understand her. Jax's thirteen year old mind whirled in excitment at this news and she fell back wards in the snowy alley and started laughing hysterically. I'm...I'm....I'm not alone... Jax thought to herself in awe.
Pushing herself off the ground she looked at her older friend and smiled. And then her excitment died, for all the lies she had told about liking guys and having crushes on them came back to slap her in the face. Snake said she liked guys, too... That wasn't a problem in Jax's eyes, but now she had to clear up who she was. Getting up she decided to take a more proper seat next to her friend against the brick wall. "I have to tell you something....." Jax said. "I lied to you....on our raft.....when....when.....the guy part. I've never had a crush or liked a guy before....." Jax whispered her last statment and looked at Snake, pulling her legs to her chest somewhat scared. She never wanted to admit to lying...though, more and more, she found herself having to tell the truths to those who she told the lies to.
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