Drew Thornton
Ministry of Magic
Auror-in-Training
I didn't do it and you can't prove otherwise...
Posts: 14,114
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Post by Drew Thornton on Dec 7, 2007 1:11:51 GMT -5
It was also the point he wasn't willing to bend on. He had had a part in putting her in that situation when he had decided to leave, but ultimately it was Shaw who had forced the situation on all of them. There were many bit players when it came to the blame game, but ultimately, it was Shaw who earned the lion's share of it all.
"It was Shaw that was causing trouble, not you!" Drew insisted. "Doing what you need to do, fighting for what is right, isn't causing trouble. Scaring the living daylights out of a bunch of kids is though. And while forcing a scheme is a bit strong, there's nothing wrong by that either. He was the one that put you there so that you felt you had to. It's his fault. Not yours!"
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Post by Felicity Hjort on Dec 7, 2007 16:50:00 GMT -5
"First of all," she started, folding her fist with her index finger pointed directly up at his chin. "You don't need to yell. I'm standing this far from you," she gestured with her hands before pointing back at him. There was no reason to raise his voice, especially when she knew she'd caused trouble and as willing to take responsibility for that fact.
"Second, you weren't there the whole time and don't know everything that happened." Her voice took on a harsher tone than she meant for it to, it wasn't his fault he hadn't been there, it was Raynor's. "So don't stand here and talk like you do."
The lioness knew that was partially her fault that he didn't know, but she didn't think that even if she had told him by this point that he should tell her what was what when she knew. And above all else, she didn't want to fight with him, but she didn't want to not tell him anything either.
"Yes it's Shaw's fault that he was there. It's my fault for being scared as well as his for putting that fear in me. It's Raynor's fault for making you leave," she began, knowing that he'd probably argue that point. "It's my fault for wanting to leave so badly, it's my fault for scheming, it's my fault for involving Celina. It's my fault my things were taken..." she continued, feeling the tears forming in her eyes. It was a build up to what she knew she was going to have to say. "It's my fault Celina's family was threatened. It's the man's fault for doing what he did. But it would've been my fault too if Celina had gotten hurt, Drew!"
Turning away from the Eagle, Felicity walked away from him. It was a big reason why she didn't like thinking about it, because everything she did could've gotten her best friend hurt...or worse.
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Drew Thornton
Ministry of Magic
Auror-in-Training
I didn't do it and you can't prove otherwise...
Posts: 14,114
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Post by Drew Thornton on Dec 8, 2007 21:58:44 GMT -5
"I'm not yelling," Drew shot back. His voice might have been a bit heated, but he wasn't quite at the boiling point yet. "But if you want yelling, I can give you yelling." He didn't think he had ever been this angry with Felicity before, and while he didn't like it one bit, he wasn't about to back down and let her take blame that she didn't deserve.
He couldn't understand why she insisted on saying it was her fault, but there was one thing he understood loud and clear. You weren't there the whole time and don't know everything that happened, so don't stand here and talk like you do. Her words hit him like a slap to his face and when she walked away, that's when he started yelling.
"You don't think I know that? You don't think I double guess that decision every day? You don't think I sit up at night and wonder what would have happened if I had stayed?" he shouted after her. "You blame me for not knowing, but you don't tell me anything! And then you get upset when I don't get it! How the heck does that make any sense at all?"
"So you're just going to walk away again instead of dealing with it, huh? You can't always just run and hide when things get bad. And you can't make it right by taking the blame when you have nothing to be blamed for!"
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Post by Felicity Hjort on Dec 8, 2007 22:45:05 GMT -5
"What decision?" she yelled back at him in question. Felicity stopped and turned abruptly around to face Drew. "You didn't have one to make, it was made for you by Raynor! Do you really think she would've let her prize student be left behind when there were other faring worse than you?" Her accusations that it was the current Headmistress' fault were going to fly now, Felicity couldn't stand not telling Drew anymore that it was her fault. "And something worse could've happened if you refused to go, Drew. The past can't be changed so there's no sense in dwelling on it."
Yes, she herself had stayed up many long nights, but mostly it was because she couldn't sleep with the images in her mind. There were no 'what if's' or imaginary thoughts, it was all what happened, and even then, she was forcing herself to now sleep or do homework. There was no curling on the bathroom floor, hadn't been in near to a week.
"Every time I try to tell you something we fight!" she shot back at him. "What's the sense in trying if no matter what it all ends up in us just arguing?" No, it wasn't the truth, they didn't always argue, but they sure did a lot of it lately, or it felt like it. "And I get upset because you don't understand. Even when I try to explain it, it doesn't matter, because you don't get it, Drew."
The tears that strained down her face weren't mixed in with the raindrops that continuously fell. Her hat hid her face from it, but it didn't hide her face from him. When things got bad? She knew she couldn't hide, how many things had happened that she knew this? But the difference was, every other time, she had her family. Being without them wasn't something she was used to, it was what she wanted, but she didn't know how to get through something without them. A flaw, a big one.
"Fine!" she shouted at him. "I'm not going anywhere. I'll just stand here while you yell at me and tell me it's not my fault. But you know what? I know it's my fault Drew, so it doesn't make a difference. I know I can't make it right, it's too late for that, but that doesn't change it from being my fault!"
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Drew Thornton
Ministry of Magic
Auror-in-Training
I didn't do it and you can't prove otherwise...
Posts: 14,114
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Post by Drew Thornton on Dec 8, 2007 23:23:40 GMT -5
"It's not your fault!" he shouted back before realizing just how loud his voice was. He took a deep breath to hopefully regain some control before speaking again. "I'm not yelling," he said in a somewhat normal tone. "But it's not your fault. You were scared and you can't be blamed for that. I can't change whatever you choose to believe, but I disagree... and I swear I'll pound anyone else who tries to pin the blame for what happened on you."
"I don't get it, so talk to me and help me understand," he said, still fighting to keep from raising his voice. And as much as the new accusation of him being Raynor's "prize student" stung (he really had believed that she hadn't bought into that crap), he wasn't going to go there unless she brought it up again. There were too many other things to be concerned about at the moment. "I'll do my best to figure it out. Please. I'm listeneing to whatever you want to tell me."
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Post by Felicity Hjort on Dec 8, 2007 23:53:05 GMT -5
"That's funny because it sounded like you were," she muttered more to herself than him. For someone not yelling, it sure sounded like he was, and she added her own shouts to the wind because she was getting frustrated with him. And as for not being able to be blamed for being scared? Wasn't that a trait of Gryffindors, being brave? She hadn't been, she was extremely scared and rather cowardly. Running? It wasn't smart nor was it was brave, at least she didn't think so. And she didn't understand why he insisted it wasn't her fault. It had been, every bit of it and she was willing to take responsibility for it, so why wouldn't he let her?
"What don't you get? What do you want to know?" she asked him. She'd told him the basic run down already, in just a moment she'd done it. Felicity knew he'd heard the rumours, one couldn't avoid them even with as big as the castle was. People talked, and so did the portraits.
"I screwed up Drew. I talked Celina into leaving, we got caught. The faceless figures took us to that man and they searched me for my wand but I didn't have it!" she yelled at him through the rain. "Instead they found my squirrel and my necklace, and my bear. And then because we wouldn't talk they destroyed my things and threatened Celina's family, Drew. And then he turned his wand on me." Looking at him through the sheets of rain, she paused. "What more is there to need to understand?"
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Drew Thornton
Ministry of Magic
Auror-in-Training
I didn't do it and you can't prove otherwise...
Posts: 14,114
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Post by Drew Thornton on Dec 9, 2007 0:11:03 GMT -5
Drew let her yell at him, knowing that he probably deserved it. "That, I understand," he answered softly. The thing was he understood what she said more than he cared to.
He had heard the bits and pieces, so nothing she said was news to him. The only difference was before it had all been rumors and hearsay. "You've never told me all of that before." He still didn't think she deseved as much blame as she was giving herself, but at least he kind of understood why she was.
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Post by Felicity Hjort on Dec 9, 2007 0:26:01 GMT -5
Hadn't she just told him only moments before when she was yelling at him? Felicity knew she'd just told him it was all her fault and had run through that basic rundown of things. Sure, this time she'd said it differently, but she was telling him the same exact thing she just had.
"Because I couldn't. Drew, I needed to talk to Celina first, and I did, finally. She's my best friend Drew, I knew she wouldn't have done what she did without a good reason. I didn't know he threatened her family." The man had leaned in really close to Celina, but it wasn't luridly. It was close enough though, that she couldn't hear anything and hadn't known he'd even spoken to Celina. All she heard was Celina telling him, softly and then upon his coaxing her voice got louder.
"And if you understand that, then what don't you understand?"
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Drew Thornton
Ministry of Magic
Auror-in-Training
I didn't do it and you can't prove otherwise...
Posts: 14,114
|
Post by Drew Thornton on Dec 9, 2007 0:37:54 GMT -5
"And I'm just your boyfriend..." he said a little bitterly. He supposed it all came back to the fact that he wasn't there, so he wasn't a part of it, so how could he understand? All of that topped off with his constant I dont get it, no wonder she didn't want to tell him anything.
He hadn't understood much of what she was trying to explain before, but this final time, he had. He wasn't sure why, but he understood. Screwing up was something, again, that he understood more than he cared to.
"I don't understand why you're still way over there yelling at me," he answered softly.
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Post by Felicity Hjort on Dec 9, 2007 1:01:12 GMT -5
"No..." she trailed off softly. He wasn't just her boyfriend, he was one of her best friends, too. But Celina was who she needed to talk to, who she needed to patch things up with before she felt she could move on. In just the short amount of time since speaking the the crazy Ravenclaw, she'd slept so much better. "Drew, you're not just my boyfriend." In fact, thinking that actually almost hurt. It was like when they were just friends and she had wanted so much more. "I just needed to talk to her. I needed to hear from her what happened, why we weren't talking anymore."
What he said next almost surprised her, but something she didn't understand was why he felt she was the one still way over when he had his own two feet and could walk perfectly fine. Staring at him for a moment, she decided on something. There was no way she was giving into him, but she was willing to meet him.
"I don't understand why you're not doing anything about it," she answered him seriously. He was moving any further than she was. Taking about three steps forward, she paused and looked him through the rain. "I'm not willing to come all the way over there, but I'll meet you halfway..." she trailed off before taking a few more steps, coming to a stop where she judged to be the midway point and crossing her arms. She was willing to meet him, but not give in.
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Drew Thornton
Ministry of Magic
Auror-in-Training
I didn't do it and you can't prove otherwise...
Posts: 14,114
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Post by Drew Thornton on Dec 9, 2007 1:15:34 GMT -5
So now he didn't get why she couldn't talk to him without talking to Celina first. Why he had to hear it second or third hand and make his own, mostly wrong, conclusions about things. Why she didn't realize that the situation had hurt him too. Why she seemed to forget that he had some experience with Shaw as well and maybe, just might have been able to help her work through a few things.
But he didn't say anything, afraid it would just start another fight when it felt like this one might be over.
"I wasn't the one who walked away," he said softly,and while he wasn't sure he was willing to go a full half of the way, he did take a step towards her as a sign that he was willing to bend a little on this.
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Post by Felicity Hjort on Dec 9, 2007 1:29:46 GMT -5
Needing to talk to Celina was a necessity. In order to sort things out, she needed to talk to the only other person she could that was involved. Celina was the only person besides Shaw that was involved in what happened that day to her, and Celina was the person who gave her up. She needed to know what happened before she made her own wrong assumptions. True, Felicity made assumptions by believing it wasn't entirely Celina's fault and that something happened so she had to tell on Felicity, but she'd been right about it.
"And you didn't do anything to stop me other than yell at me either," she answered somewhat harshly. Her light brown eyes didn't miss his step, but they didn't stop their small glaring bit either. "I'm not moving anymore Drew. It's your choice now."
He could either meet her, or not. And if he didn't, she continued walking away.
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Drew Thornton
Ministry of Magic
Auror-in-Training
I didn't do it and you can't prove otherwise...
Posts: 14,114
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Post by Drew Thornton on Dec 9, 2007 1:47:26 GMT -5
Drew glared back, finding the demand totally unfair. She had said she didn't want him giving into her, but there she was standing across from him and demanding that he do just that. Typically girl.
"So I'm supposed to chase after you when you storm off?" he asked, not sure he cared for that bit either. If he was supposed to go after her, why had she gotten mad at him last time he tried? And of course, ninty-nine times out of one hundred, he probably would go after her, but that didn't mean he liked that she expected him too.
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Post by Felicity Hjort on Dec 9, 2007 1:57:50 GMT -5
No, she wasn't asking him to give in to her, she was asking him to meet her halfway. She'd done her bit walking toward him to meet him, but she wasn't going to go all the way either. While she knew a relationship was about give and take, she also knew it was about compromising and meeting each other, not one going all the way and not the other.
Shaking her head at him, she felt the tears well in her eyes again. No, she didn't expect him to, but she did expect him not to yell at her of all things to do. But even then, in the movies, the boy either chased after the girl or he stood there and watched her walk away, but she couldn't remember them yelling at the girl either.
Tightening her grip around herself, she felt everything come down. Every raindrop, every tear, every part of the shattering she felt inside. She needed to know. "Drew...are you happy?"
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Drew Thornton
Ministry of Magic
Auror-in-Training
I didn't do it and you can't prove otherwise...
Posts: 14,114
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Post by Drew Thornton on Dec 9, 2007 2:06:16 GMT -5
The question took him by surprise. Of course he wasn't happy. He was in the middle of yet another fight with his girlfriend and he felt like she had a bunch of expectaions that either kept switching on him or that he didn't think he could live up to. What was there to be happy about?
But for some reason, he didn't think that was exactly what she was asking. "What do you mean?" he asked back, slowly taking another step towards her.
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