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Post by Felicity Hjort on Dec 21, 2007 1:44:36 GMT -5
Nodding, she understood. Yes, she understood he'd been scared and was forced to leave. She knew his seemingly undying need to do something for those who needed his help, had rubbed off on her in some instances and she wanted nothing more than to punch his arm for it sometimes.
"I know you didn't want to, Raynor made you," she said quietly. Raynor was the reason Drew had to leave. Shaw had said five, Felicity had been there, and yet Raynor slipped Drew in like slippery seal. It hadn't been fair that she'd done that, chosen who she had at that time. It just didn't make a whole lot of sense, then again, hardly anything about it had. However, out of it, she knew he'd done something, just like he had to do.
"But is it really your job to leave me?" she asked, confused and doing her best not to get too upset. He'd said he didn't want to leave her, and then said it was his job to. Did he truly find it to be his job to leave her?
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Drew Thornton
Ministry of Magic
Auror-in-Training
I didn't do it and you can't prove otherwise...
Posts: 14,114
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Post by Drew Thornton on Dec 21, 2007 1:51:05 GMT -5
"Raynor didn't make me," Drew answered, again confident that he would have been given the right to refuse if he had wanted to use it. And yes, it was his job to leave. It didn't mean he liked doing it.
"I... I wouldn't have left if I had known," he told her, needing her to understand that. "I thought you'd be safe. I thought you'd be okay. I wouldn't have left if I had known. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I left you."
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Post by Felicity Hjort on Dec 21, 2007 14:43:08 GMT -5
He didn't answer her question. She'd asked if it was his job to leave her. It was simple, straight-forwrard, she hadn't gone aroundabout with it, and out of anything, it was exactly as she'd meant it. Was it his job to leave her...?
But how could he have known? No one had known. Had she known, she probably still would've done it, tried to escape. The future was never certain, anything could change what happened, what was supposed to happen. Everyone thought they'd be all right. What about Arianna? She, too, probably thought she'd be all right. Celina? How would she have known what would happen, that her family would be threatened and she would have a choice to make.
"Do you really believe it's your job to leave me?" she asked again, quietly, hinging on a silenced sob. Did she really have feelings, like she had, for someone who believed his job was to leave her?
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Drew Thornton
Ministry of Magic
Auror-in-Training
I didn't do it and you can't prove otherwise...
Posts: 14,114
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Post by Drew Thornton on Dec 21, 2007 18:44:12 GMT -5
He just didn't like how she worded that question and he felt that his answer was even less likable. The short answer was yes, it was his job. He'd be called on and he'd go. But that wasn't the point he needed her to understand.
And once again, as he had after his break-up with Alhana, he thought that maybe he shouldn't be selfish enough to have a girlfriend at all. How could he, in good consciousness, go off chasing dark wizards down, knowing the people he cared about the most might be in danger? It didn't seem feasible that he could be an Auror and have any sort of meaningful relationships. Even the previous spring, they had exploited his weaknesses, threatening both his sister and his girlfriend. What would stop them from doing that again? Heck... it had happened to Raynor and her first boyfriend, and that guy ended up dying for it. Felicity had already been hurt once. He didn't know if he could bear knowing she had been cursed like that again, especially if he had been the reason behind it.
"I'm going to be an Auror, Felicity," he said softly. "If they call on me, I'm going to go. I'll do my best to try and make sure you're safe, but I'll go if they need me." If either of them had a problem with him leaving, then no, they didn't belong together at all.
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Post by Felicity Hjort on Dec 21, 2007 21:44:41 GMT -5
She understood that part, the one about being an Auror and if duty called taking off, but that wasn't what she was asking. Did he truly believe, aside from anything like duty which she didn't blame him for, that it was his job to leave her? He had said it, and she didn't like how it'd been said. Staring blankly at him, unable to glare or even cry, she couldn't believe what he was saying to her. That he was taking his so called 'duty' so far as to believing it the way she was asking.
"I understand that that's part of being an Auror Drew," she told him. It was a part of many jobs, Harold had done that many times to Fawn, and he'd told her it was part of his job. If Felicity remembered right, she'd asked the same question Felicity was now asking Drew, only Harold had understood. "That's not what I'm asking you. I know about that, I know about Auror's now," she told him. The library had a number of books about different areas of employments for witches and wizards, and they were generous on their section dealing with Aurors. "Do you really think your job is to leave me?"
If his answer was yes, there had never been a reason to like him like she did. No, she'd never thought they'd always be together, after all, how many relationships lasted from the very first? At least, it was her first. How many lasted from being teenagers right into the real world? Again, not many. But she never thought he'd believe something so disrespectable, something her father had told her he'd do. The core reason why he hadn't been fond of the boy she was conversing with. It wasn't because he was a wizard, wasn't because he was American, wasn't because of a number of other reasons. It was because he didn't want his daughter to have a heartache from someone who was going to leave.
Felicity didn't need his promises of her being kept safe. That had already fallen through, no she didn't blame Drew, it wasn't his fault, but he had said he'd keep her safe then too. It wasn't what she needed to know from him. What she needed to know was whether he would really leave.
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Drew Thornton
Ministry of Magic
Auror-in-Training
I didn't do it and you can't prove otherwise...
Posts: 14,114
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Post by Drew Thornton on Dec 22, 2007 2:48:43 GMT -5
Drew really didn't understand what she was asking. She repeated the answer he had given, saying she understood that, but then asked the question again. If he was an Auror, he'd have to leave. That was his job. And it wasn't even that he had to do it. He wanted to be an Auror and he understood that was part of his duty.
But in order to get her to clarify what she was asking, he'd have to once again say he didn't understand her. And now, it felt worse. He had moved on from not understanding answers to not understanding even the question.
"If I'm an Auror... and they need me..." He really didn't think restating what he had said before was going to help, especially since she said she understood about being an Auror, but he didn't know what else to do. Every time she asked the question, he knew the answer was yes, but for some reason, he was sure he was supposed to be answering no. "I don't get what you're asking me. If they need me, then I have to go. That's what an Auror does. That would be my job, right?"
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Post by Felicity Hjort on Dec 22, 2007 15:54:43 GMT -5
Shaking her head lightly, she listened. He didn't understand what she was asking, didn't understand what he'd said to her. Maybe she'd misunderstood, what would be new about that? Absolutely nothing. How many times by now had she misunderstood him? Too many. But did he really believe that was his job? She wouldn't believe it. Couldn't.
"Your job is to help people, not to leave," she told him. That much she'd understood when he explained it to her, and she'd understood so much more after reading. An Auror's job was to capture the "bad" guys, to take fear out of people so they could live normal lives, it wasn't to leave someone. Did he understand that? "It's not your job to leave people Drew. Yes, I know that sometimes you'll be required to leave, to go do things people aren't going to always like. But it's not your job to leave people Drew, it's not your job to leave me."
Perhaps what she did was for the best. Maybe everything that took place earlier that morning was meant to happen, so her heart wouldn't break more when he did leave.
"Your job is to be the best person you can be," as she'd told him before. "It's to do what makes you happy. It isn't to leave people unless that's what makes you happy." Bringing her hands up to her cheeks, she brushed away as many of the tears as she could. "Do you really believe your job is to leave me? Do you really believe, that your life job is to just leave me...or anyone?"
It's what he'd said. That it was his job. Did he really believe that?
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Drew Thornton
Ministry of Magic
Auror-in-Training
I didn't do it and you can't prove otherwise...
Posts: 14,114
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Post by Drew Thornton on Dec 23, 2007 2:21:59 GMT -5
Drew was even more confused as she spoke. Why was she telling him stuff he already knew? He was getting a little irritated, though, with her constant reference to it not being his job to leave, and he bit back a retort that leaving was apparently her job. If they weren't together, what did it matter to her if leaving was his job or not?
But he didn't want to say that, not really. He did want to be with her, and it confused him more as she continued speaking. He didn't remember saying it had been his job to leave. That would be a really stupid job.
"I know my job is to help people," he said, realizing that his problem was he forgot how literal he had to be with Felicity... and she with him. If she was talking about it literally being his job, then the answer was clear. "No where in my job description will it state anything about leaving people, nor will I be asking for it to be put in. No, it is not my job to leave people."
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Post by Felicity Hjort on Dec 23, 2007 15:52:37 GMT -5
"Drew, I'm not talking about you being an Auror, or becoming one," she stated clearly. The light brown orbs were no longer on his face, but the gaze lowered, observing a nice bit of floor between where she sat and where the blanket began. He'd said it was his job, she knew what an Auror had to do, did, she had read. Of course, she obviously couldn't read everything there was to being an Auror, otherwise just about anyone could probably be one. No, she wanted to know if it was more of a goal of his, if he believed it was something he had to do in life.
"I'm talking about just in general." He'd said it was his job to leave. There was no way she could believe that he believed such a thing. It was ridiculous. Never had she thought of him as someone to up and leave people, and she wouldn't now. Not unless he confirmed it.
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Drew Thornton
Ministry of Magic
Auror-in-Training
I didn't do it and you can't prove otherwise...
Posts: 14,114
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Post by Drew Thornton on Dec 23, 2007 17:37:47 GMT -5
He really wasn't sure what she was trying to say, feeling like he had already answered every variation of her question. And as much as he hated going in circles, he thought the only thing to do was reitterate the points.
"No, it's not my job to leave. Sometimes I'll have to, and I know that, but I don't want to. And I wouldn't go anywhere unless I thought the people I cared about most were safe," he told her, again, biting back any comment to the effect that she was the one doing all the leaving.
"And... and I'd come back." Was that the part she was missing? Did she really think he was the kind of guy to just abandon people? If anything he stuck by them well beyond the time others would have let them go, often to the detriment of his own well-being. "I'm not about to just up and leave someone I really care about... even if they don't care about me very much."
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Post by Felicity Hjort on Dec 24, 2007 2:30:53 GMT -5
His first answer pretty much cleared it up for Felicity, though she still didn't lift her light brown eyes to look at him. She understood that part about his job, that it did require him to leave, much like a muggle policeman sometimes. They protected the law by upkeeping peace and justice within communities, but they left, too. They left their families, friends and all else to go on their job. What she'd been waiting for was for Drew to clarify that he distinctly knew the difference between his job and his job.
And he did clarify. That was what she needed to know, or was it really her right to need to know something anymore? Felicity wasn't sure. But as a friend, she was allowed needs, wasn't she? Or was she not his friend? It was all very confusing, even if she was the one that felt it was needed, she was beyond confused about the whole thing, other than the part that they were no longer dating.
But his last line made her glance up at him. She wasn't sure, but was he saying that she didn't care about him?
"All right," she said quietly, droppng her gaze again. He answered her question finally, that was what she needed. Though it hurt that she thought he was inferring that about her, she didn't want to start another fight with him. Really, she didn't.
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Drew Thornton
Ministry of Magic
Auror-in-Training
I didn't do it and you can't prove otherwise...
Posts: 14,114
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Post by Drew Thornton on Dec 24, 2007 3:04:39 GMT -5
He waited patiently for another round of but is it your job? but it didn't come. Apparently, he had finally figured out what she had been asking. Obviously, she had thought he was the kind to up and leave. That didn't make him feel very good. And then she claimed to trust him? Again, it didn't make any sense.
He knew what he had implied, and had done it partially on purpose... but just partially. The bitterness came in waves and at that moment, it had gotten the better of him.
"Do... do you really think I'd do something like that? Just leave?" he asked, the question getting the better of him. Or had he already proven that he would do it, that day in the Great Hall with the Portkey? He had left her and she had gotten hurt. Would she forgive him for that?
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Post by Felicity Hjort on Dec 24, 2007 3:26:51 GMT -5
It was a good question. Did what her dad and Jacob try telling her hit at home? Would Drew just leave? He had. When Raynor called out his name, he left, without a fight. On the other hand, she also knew how much he respected the woman, almost as much as Felicity now hated her. But he had left.
Did she think he would just leave? He had, without giving a fight, without anymore more than a single word call-out and a glance. Nothing more. So did she believe it?
"No."
Felicity couldn't believe it, it wasn't Drew to be like that. The blonde was pretty sure she knew Drew better than that, and he wouldn't leave like that. Except he already had. But she couldn't blame him for it, wouldn't blame him. It was Raynor's fault, she called him out and knew he wouldn't fight her on it. He had wanted out as much as anyone else, why would he have passed up the opportunity? After all, Raynor called out three Ravenclaws, and two more Prefects. It was all about favouritism, and she knew it.
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Drew Thornton
Ministry of Magic
Auror-in-Training
I didn't do it and you can't prove otherwise...
Posts: 14,114
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Post by Drew Thornton on Dec 24, 2007 3:41:16 GMT -5
"Then why would you ask me that?" he persisted, hurt by the accusation. He knew he had left, but he hadn't liked it. He hadn't wanted to go. And he had come back. Her answer implied that she had forgiven him, that she did understand, but why had she asked the question in the first place?
"I thought you'd be safe. You have to know that," he said quietly, thinking that had to be the whole basis for it.
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Post by Felicity Hjort on Dec 24, 2007 3:48:12 GMT -5
"Because you said it was your job," she answered softly. "And I wanted to know if you really thought it was." If he wanted to help people, he couldn't very well walk around leaving them, could he? How would that really work? Helping people meant sticking close, for a little while at least anyways. And she didn't really think he would leave, but truthfully, he had.
"I know," she added, as quietly as he'd said it. Felicity was sure the only reason she was even able to hear it passed her shattered heart was because the room echoed so well. "I just...I don't understand why you didn't fight it." Would he be mad at her now? Had she just started a whole new argument when it was the last thing she wanted to do, the first being holding on to him and not letting go.
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